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“You’re going to go to a marriage counseling class with a woman you’re not married to nor know?” “Yeah, what’s the big deal?”
I follow her line of sight, straight to the steam shower, where a large dildo is stuck to the wall. “Dear God,” I whisper. “Whatever you do, don’t drop the soap, Scottie. For the love of God, don’t drop the soap.”
“No, instead, you go right to trying to beat someone with a ten-pound dildo.”
“So when you asked me to pick you up pads with wings, did I not deliver?” My face falls flat. “You came back with pads…and buffalo wings.”
A black lip ring. Who knew? Who knew that would be my kryptonite?
