Till Summer Do Us Part

by Meghan Quinn

The second option, a battle cry to all women out there that the Brads and Chads of this world cannot take us down! I think we know where I’m going with this. Gird your loins and hoist your bras, ladies. We’re digging in.

“Over my dead body will my friend pretend to be married to a plastic fuck hole,”

“That fuck hole is her husband.” Denise pounds her fist to the bar top, mirth written all over her face. “Don’t talk about him that way.”

“Some might argue that appearance matters.” “Others might argue that you should never judge a book by its cover,” I counter with a smirk.

“Made your taint shrivel up, didn’t it?” Uh, did my marriage counselor just say “taint” and allude to it shriveling up? What the hell kind of professional setting is this?

Hahahaha

“Because you’re not just a robot in a pair of jeans and a beanie. There’s a heart in there.” “Yeah, there’s a heart,” I say. “Beating and everything.” “Fascinating. What’s that like?” “Thrilling,”

“Did you hear that?” She walks up to me and shows her arm. “Look, goose bumps. Someone is in here.” She hurries over to the dresser, picks up the longest dildo from the minibar, and wields it like a sword before walking up behind me and gripping my shirt, using me as a human shield.

What is she going to do? Penetrate someone to death with that thing?

“Uh, yeah. Really fucking differently, as if the kiss didn’t even affect her in the slightest.” “Oh, it affected her. Pretty sure she used the word ‘throbbing’ when talking to Denise.” Throbbing? That liar!

“Holding information out of fear is the biggest form of miscommunication, but it’s also the most common. Every relationship, no matter how excellent you are at talking to your partner, experiences a form of miscommunication. It’s human nature. We become guarded, we don’t want to get hurt, we’re unsure of how the other person is going to respond, so we hold our cards close to our chest. We don’t tell the entire truth, which always hurts the relationship in the long run. It’s so incredibly common, so much so that Ellison and I suffer from the same thing at times. It’s one of the biggest issues among all my couples.”

“Why aren’t you boning our friend?”

‘till summer do us part’

Roll Credits