Snake-Eater

by T. Kingfisher

Father Aguirre filled the doorway. He looked from Selena to Copper to Grandma Billy. “Staging a religious coup?” he asked mildly. “Not today,” said Grandma. “Got troubles. Need you to bless my gun.” Father Aguirre sighed. “Let me get the oil . . .”

I actually laughed out loud 😂

“What a dream,” muttered Selena, holding her head. Her temples throbbed. “Christ, I hope that was a dream.” She had a horrible sinking feeling that it might not have been.

Definitely not a dream girl

Grandma Billy had been all set to walk back in a knot and shoot anything that looked at them funny. Father Aguirre was not terribly happy with this plan and kept saying things like, “Innocent bystanders” and “Collateral damage.”

Hilarious lol

“Oh my god,” she said, “you were eating bacon!” The giant javelina cocked its head to one side and snorted. Selena could swear that it was a laugh.

😂😂

In her head, she tried out saying, “Meep meep, motherfucker,” and possibly that would be amazing and possibly it would be incredibly silly and since she couldn’t decide, she said nothing at all and pulled the trigger instead.

“Oh, fuck off,” somebody said. 251 It took a moment for Selena to realize that somebody was her.