Eating Viet Nam: Dispatches from a Blue Plastic Table

by Graham Holliday

It’s “Chí,” not “Em.” Chí is the more respectful term for females; Em is not respectful, and has an unpleasant under-meaning, as if the person using the term could do whatever he wanted to the “Em.” Sophie was never ever addressed as “Em” in Sài Gòn, not once in all our six years. God forgive the poor Hanoian male who would ever call her “Em,” which they did, constantly. Hanoian males address every young (or not so young, but reasonably attractive) female as “Em.” Advice to Hanoian males: you want to piss off my missus, just carry on the way you are. The wrath will be swift, and straight to the nuts. I knew one expat who had recently relocated from Hà Nội to Sài Gòn and was told in no uncertain terms to clean up after he’d chucked his tissue and lemons on the floor. He was just following Hà Nội tradition, but the staff was not amused. The shouts of “Em ơi”—think of it like aggressively snapping your fingers at a waiter—didn’t go down too well, either. While he wasn’t ejected from the establishment, it was clear he wouldn’t be welcomed back, either.