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scientific evidence suggests that happiness is less about ‘having’ and more about ‘doing’.
It’s also worth remembering that lasting happiness feels much more like run-of-the-mill contentment than unadulterated bliss!
People often confuse strengths with competencies, talents or skills, but in positive psychology they are not the same thing.
Clifton StrengthsFinder™ which, despite its name, actually measures the talents that act as the foundations for strengths development, rather than the strengths themselves.
In positive psychology terms, a strength is most probably something you are good at because you use it a lot but not necessarily!
You can identify your strengths because they: Energise you Feel like ‘the real you’ Lead to peak performance.
Using your strengths will not feel like a chore. On the contrary, you will feel excited, eager and exhilarated.
Being able to pinpoint your own feelings is the first step in becoming more emotionally intelligent. Every day, set aside a few minutes to practise this skill.
Because it’s not always easy to identify our underlying beliefs or emotions, CBT therapists often encourage people to start at the end, with the behaviour which they can see and hear, then work backwards,
The emotionally intelligent person recognizes their own frustration as it occurs, understands how it develops and takes steps to defuse it before it gets out of hand.
EI experts suggest that the most successful mood regulation strategies involve expending energy.
people who have a grateful disposition are less anxious, depressed, envious, lonely and materialistic.
gratitude is one of the top five character strengths consistently and robustly associated with life satisfaction (the others being zest, love, hope and curiosity).
4. WWW: what went well?
Kabat-Zinn defines mindfulness as paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment and non-judgmentally.
One way to understand mindfulness is to think about its opposite, mindlessness. Mindlessness is about doing things automatically, unconsciously, habitually, without awareness or oblivious to what is happening in and around you.
Carol Dweck suggests that people with a fixed mindset decide on ‘performance goals’.
people with a growth mindset aren’t so hung up on their performance; they’re more interested in setting ‘learning goals’
approach goals which are goals with positive outcomes which we work towards.
Avoidance goals, on the other hand, are goals with negative outcomes which we work to avoid.
A lot of coaches believe that making a goal SMART is pretty much a guarantee of success. If only it were that straightforward!
The satisfaction of three basic psychological needs (control, competence and connection) will increase your self-motivation, and your well-being. Improving your working memory will increase self-control in all areas of your life.
If your commitment to your goal is uncertain, focus on what you have already achieved – this will help increase your self-motivation. If you are fully committed to your goal, focus on what you have left to achieve – this will help maintain high self-motivation. Self-control, which is essential for goal achievement, is like a muscle – the more you exercise it, the stronger it gets. How much willpower you have will be less of an issue if you’re already highly motivated to do something.
Optimists attribute the cause of negative events and experiences to external, specific and transient factors, whereas pessimists do the opposite; they attribute their cause to internal, global and permanent factors.
Dear diary Psychology research also suggests that people who write about their worst life experiences report greater physical and psychological well-being, in terms of improved life satisfaction and health, compared to those who merely think privately about their experiences.
Spend 5 minutes thinking about what kind of thing you would be doing if you were luxuriating, or basking, in something. What would you cherish? What would you revel in?
How to savour in 5 easy steps Slow down Pay attention to what you are doing Use all your senses S-t-r-e-t-c-h out the experience Reflect on your enjoyment.
You can savour things in the present moment, such as eating a favourite food You can savour things from the past, such as reminiscing about a happy childhood or holiday You can savour things in the future, for example, anticipating your graduation ceremony, or the birth of a grandchild.
