Can You Take It? (Infatuated Fae, #4)

by Jeneane O'Riley

Why was I always the one that sacrificed everything for others? Why did I always have to be the one to save the world? When would someone want to help me? Didn’t anyone know I needed help too?

I was so ready for this whole adventure to just be done. In the last ten minutes, it had dawned on me how much I wanted out of this shithole and how desperately I no longer wished to be thought of as everyone’s hero. What had I ever gotten from it? No one loved me more because I continuously sacrificed my wants and needs for theirs. No one ever changed their ways and were a better person because I had saved them. Everyone was selfish. No one ever came to my rescue when I needed it, and it was exhausting—I was exhausted. I should never have come to this place. Mendax probably would have already been back to Unseelie with Cal, had he been the one to die. Why was I always doing things like this?

I couldn’t do this anymore, any of it—I couldn’t kill her, and for the first time in my life, I didn’t want to be the hero. I didn’t want the responsibility of fixing everyone else’s mistakes. I didn’t want the heavy burden of sacrifice. I didn’t want the weight of indecision or the feelings of obligation, and most of all, I didn’t want to kill someone I think I could have loved just because it was what a hero would have done. I had fallen for the monster I was supposed to slay and the only thing that could save me now was to get away. From all of it.

What had being everyone’s hero gotten me? Certainly not love or kindness or even a heart filled with good feelings. It had gotten me a chest full of scars, a lifelong unreciprocated love, a mother who hated me; it had gotten me killed and tossed into the pits of the Underworld. I wasn’t going to sacrifice myself for the betterment of another ever again, and I wasn’t going to give up on the things I wanted, no matter how foolish or unrealistic they were. I was sick and tired of being walked on so other people could follow their dreams and get what they wanted. It was my turn to get what I wanted, and I wanted desperately to take the pendant with the magic that I was tied to and get to the Elysian Fields.

I watched a snail crawl across the moss next to me. His little antennae moved slowly. I wished I could be like the snail. No one needing anything from me. Just existing happily.

Of course, many love their lives—Unseelie in particular love violence and wrath. But not all Unseelie are bad.” “Yes, I agree,” I said, thinking of Mendax. Though I wasn’t sure I’d necessarily put him in the “not bad” category quite yet. He was a villain through and through, but now the words villain and hero were growing unclear. I started to wonder if maybe we were all just people trying to do our best, the best way we knew how, with what we were equipped with.

“Spread your thighs for me,” I rasped. She rolled her eyes. “I’m not gonna spread my legs for you to stare at me. Please come here,” she whined. “Do what I say, and you’ll be rewarded,” I said sternly. A flush crept up her neck and she moved her thighs apart just enough so that I could see her perfect pussy outlined by a thin layer of underwear that was now see-through, allowing me just enough of a view to drive me mad.

“So, when’s the baby due?” I asked, needing something tangible to hold onto. ‘She’s due in two months,’ Cal said, and I felt absolute joy and gentleness pour through. I cleared my throat again, struggling with the emotions. “You’re having a girl,” I said, getting choked up. Anna slapped her hands over her mouth excitedly. It was foolish how we were acting, knowing neither of us would ever get to see her. We were dead. “Do you have a name picked out?” I asked. ‘No, not yet. Mendax says none of the names are good enough.’ I snorted, imagining Mendax as a girl dad. “Do you think he’ll be gentle with her?” I asked, genuinely concerned. Cal shrugged. ‘I don’t know if he’ll be gentle, but she’ll be protected. I know that much.

My heart felt like it skipped a beat. In this moment I knew that this child and I were the luckiest people in all the realms. To have someone love you the way you require is a thing of wonder.

I felt something near giddiness float up from him. ‘Did you not hear what my new title is?’ ‘No, don’t you fucking—‘ I tried to cut him off. ‘Mendax, the King of Aurelius. Has a certain ring to it, doesn’t it?’ he said proudly. ‘Stop,’ I pleaded. ‘Aurelius touches everyone,’ he projected proudly. ‘That’s the slogan we decided would showcase the inclusive nature of the new realm.’ ‘I’m begging you to stop,’ I said. ‘Would you believe, I got to pick it?’ he declared. ‘Don’t you have an army to train or someone you need to kill?’ I grumbled.

I looked at the creases around my eyes and wondered how many of those had formed from fake smiles designed to make everyone feel like I was okay. Everyone always knew me to be a smiling, lighthearted prince that lived to sacrifice and serve everyone else, but the truth was, once you sacrificed everything you had to give, there was nothing left for you to survive off of.