Malice (Malice Mafia, #1)

by Coralee June

"You’ll be my maid of honor, right?" The conversation turned serious when Vicky replied, "I'd be offended if you didn't ask, and then I'd kill whoever you picked instead of me." I forced a smile and giggled, not sure if she was joking or not.

The fewer people you had in your heart, the fewer opportunities you had for loss.

"Thank you for making me feel normal, Juliet."

A stunned scream traveled up my throat but was stunted by the force of a gun slamming into my right temple. I blinked twice, I cried out, and I collapsed into the arms of Satan himself.

"I’d fuck you in a puddle made up of your urine and that man’s blood without a second’s hesitation. Your existence is what disgusts me. Your fear just turns me on."

"Does that even matter? If you want to live, I’m your family. I’m your law. I’m your everything."

"When you cry, is it because you genuinely feel a sense of sorrow? Or do you cry because you feel like you’re supposed to, because the world watches how you respond and you don’t want anyone to know how much of a monster you really are?"

"Welcome to the family, Juliet. There are perks for selling your soul to the devil," he said with a grin.

"It'll do you no good. Don't learn their backstory. Don't personalize them. Don't remember them. Take what you did today and shove it into a tiny box, then put that box in a bigger box. Then chain that box shut and drop it in the bottom of the ocean and pretend that it never existed."

Nicholas will coach you. William will save you. I'll just accept you where you are.

"Okay. So, like, you're full on psycho. Cool, cool. I was joking about the crematorium thing. We actually have a funeral home on our bank roll. We just gotta get him into the hearse and drop him off. But, like, cool for having a Plan B—a terrifying Plan B. That just feels like a lot of work, man."

"Please put the dead prostitute’s clothes on. I'm about to pop a boner in the torture room, and I was told I wasn't allowed to be sexually aroused around dead bodies anymore."

wish I could tell you that kissing Malice was like taking a shot of the best heroin money could buy, but it wasn't. It was like lying on the ground as everyone piled heavy bricks on top of my body. It was this hard, damning experience that weighed me down in ways that felt unnatural.

"Oh, William," Malice began. "You know as well as anyone that I play with my toys until they break. And then, I play with them harder."

"An Eden’s Girl is every man’s deepest, darkest fantasy. She’s soft and beautiful and unique. She’s real, with real flaws, scars, and curves. An Eden’s Girl creates her own definition of beautiful. She’s not defined by her femininity, she defines it. Strong. Independent. Entertaining. Intelligent. Secretive. She embodies her namesake, a free, plentiful garden prone to sin."

William groaned. "Oh, Miss Cross," he replied in a low dark tone. "I've seen you stripped bare since the day we met. You couldn't hide from me if you tried. I know every nuance. Every detail. In my mind, I've kissed you a thousand times. I've worshiped your body even more." He paused to lightly trace his fingers over my arm. A shiver traveled down my spine. "I tried to keep you out of this world. But now that you're here, I'm going to claim every last inch of you. I have spent the last three years eavesdropping on your soul. Next, I'll learn your body."

"Show me you can protect the people you actually give a shit about, and then we’ll talk, Malice,"

"You're nothing. No one. No one cares about you. You're completely alone. You filled this entire mansion with your screams, and not a single person ran to your rescue."

"I have nothing to prove, Little Fighter. Right now I want you. Tomorrow, I might kill you. Yesterday, I hated you. Monsters operate on their base needs."

While he was sleeping, Anthony let out a cry. I needed to kill all my flies for him. I couldn't hold him and comfort him until I did.

"Don't you know, Miss Cross? You can have plenty of fun outside of the bedroom."

"You can fuck whoever you want, Miss Cross. But with you, I don’t share. I’ll let them have the dirty, damaged pieces of your soul, but I get your heart."

"We won’t finish this until you can tell me you’re mine and only mine, Miss Cross." I tipped my chin up and glared at him. I was embarrassed, ashamed, horny, and sexually frustrated. "Then we’ll never finish, Stranger."

"That’s not my home, Anthony." He scoffed. "You just don’t know it yet, but I’m your home. It’s okay, I’ll grow on you."

"You make me stronger. I’m not afraid to bring you here, because you make me feel like the strongest man in the room. I’m untouchable. Invincible. Ask me why?"

"Because I would burn the world to the ground before letting anything happen to you. I’d kill anyone, anything, that put you in danger."

"I'm never letting you go," he said. "You're mine, Killer."

Anthony brought out my vulnerable side. My trauma. My broken innocence. He felt the safest to me because we bonded over our shared damage. He was the most open with me, and I saw parts of myself in the way he interacted with the world. He didn't make me feel crazy for still holding hope about my mother. He was my fly swatter. My harbinger of death. William was my complex analytical side. Like me, he observed the world. He processed. He unpacked a situation and faded into the background. Restrained and secretive, I related to his martyrdom and the way he viewed the world. I wasn't sure if we had a future together. Of all the brothers, he felt the most betrayed by my inability to choose. I hadn't even seen him since the moment in his office. Breaking those pearls felt like breaking our relationship. I wasn't sure we would ever repair it. And Malice, dark, dangerous Malice. He brought out my inner destructiveness, my power, my deepest, darkest curiosities. Every bit of my filthy soul, he dragged to the light. He personified my most thrilling nightmares. He coaxed passion from every pore in my body. Malice was the wildest parts of my spirit. He was the hardest to love, but the most rewarding too.

This conversation did three things simultaneously. First, I realized that Malice didn't actually care for me. Second, I realized that William didn't love me enough to fight for me. And third, I learned that I needed to leave before my heart was shattered any more than it already was.

"That's what happens to broken, lonely little girls who grow up with nothing. They cling to the first sign of love and run with it, not giving a single fuck for all the red flags." I clenched my fists and held them up to my chin. "I killed for this man!"

"The fact that you think I wouldn't burn down every fucking inch of this city to save you is ridiculous,"

"You know what stopped me from leaving Nick to burn alive out there?" "What?" "You. I didn't want to hurt you. It would have been easy to let him die. I could have become the boss. It would have been one less person to share you with. But it would have destroyed you. I love you more than I want to take over. I want you to be happy, Juliet. I'd rather have pieces of you than nothing at all."

It occurred to me just then that I hadn’t been abandoned this time. I had three men who walked through hell and back to be with me. Both literally and figuratively. That night was the last time I heard the flies.

"Let me make myself perfectly clear," Malice said. "You are the most precious person in my life now. More valuable than any single possession I own. More valuable than family, than my work, than my own needs and desires. I don’t fucking make declarations of love, but when I say I own you…" He paused to unbuckle his pants and pull out his hard, pierced cock. "I mean it."

"Can I kiss you, Anthony?" I asked. He stared at my mouth for a long moment, and I moved my hand. "Can I have you forever, Killer?" he asked back softly. I kissed him.

want you to be happy," he whispered. "I'll take you on dates—" "You said you don't do dates," I interrupted. "Well, for you, I fucking will. I want you to live where you want to live, be who you want to be. If you want to go to college, I'll follow you." "Nick..." His name made a shiver travel down my spine. I didn't know what to say. He averted his eyes. "Vicky felt trapped by me, and I don't want you to feel that way too," he admitted. "As much as you're mine, I'm yours."

You never really moved on from the loss of someone you love. You just learned how to cope with their absence. And these men were filling a void in my life that I didn't even know I had.

I looked at Anthony, my soulmate. William, my stranger, and Nick, my savior. In finding them, life became less about the unanswered questions and more about living my truth.