In the past, I’ve had a remarkable gift for turning even the most minor manifestation of fear or disapproval from my partner into a personal catastrophe. But instead, I use the four adjustments to turn shame into reassurance. Shame is about being bad for someone; reassurance is about being good to yourself. And not only does it make more sense to respond with compassion instead of criticism, it’s also much easier on everyone involved. It may be the key to a longer, happier life.
