Kindle Notes & Highlights
“You really went full G-Mode last night, didn’t you? A shame I wasn’t here sooner. But, you know. The impending war.”
“Look. I haven’t even had any coffee yet. I refuse to process any of this insanity until I’ve had coffee. A lot of it.”
“Fuck. I must have been really drunk.” He paused again. “Is the Fae Wilds a coffee shop, by any chance?” “No,” Emily said as he stared down into her prodigious cleavage. Not only did she not seem to mind, she also stuck it out further as he looked at her. “We don’t have coffee across the Veil.” “Going to have to address that, then.”
“I’m going to take a shower and get myself halfway presentable. Then we can go get coffee. If you promise to not try to sign me up to any subscription services or send my money to an African prince, I’m happy to spend half an hour listening to whatever sales pitch you’ve got going on here.”
Emily might have been extremely cute and sexy, but he was still deeply unclear who and what she was. There was still the possibility that she was both a goblin girl and crazy. You don’t stick your dick in crazy, he thought. At least not until I’m sure where she falls on the hot-crazy axis.
“Sounds good. I won’t be long. I just need to rinse off again. I had to climb out of the river at the trash heap.” The bodyguard’s eyebrows went up in confusion. “Why wash? Trash heap perfect place to get fine goblin stink.” “Yeah, we’re going to need to talk about that one,” Thomas muttered.
Thomas woke up feeling as if he’d been run down by a bus. Run down, beaten over the head with a broken bottle, and kicked in the nuts by a mule.
“Boredom can be fatal to goblins. Not just being bored, I mean, but when goblins have nothing at all to occupy their attention, their chaos can drive them to do extremely dangerous things.” “Like what?” This intrigued him, because it was something he’d never considered. “Beating themselves in the head with rocks,” Mama said, “or seeing who can swallow the most nails.” One of her assistants spoke up. “My cousin died from trying to see if he could shove a new pine sapling all the way up his—” “I think the Prince gets the point,”
“They are your Vassals. Their duty is to die on your behalf, isn’t it?” “Fuck that,” Thomas shot back. “It wasn’t a suicide mission. They were supposed to be scouting.
“Males use things, and people,” she said firmly, looking away into the forest. “They do not care. And when they have finished using a thing, they throw it away. I have seen it.” Thomas snorted in disbelief. “I’m not the Troll King.”
“Run that by me again?” “Which part did you not understand?” “Candi? You can’t be serious. That’s her name?”
“A succubus cannot take a soul from an unwilling male, King Thomas. If a human, or another fae, negotiates away their life in exchange for what the succubus offers, is it murder?”
“He commands loyalty,” Candi said a moment later. “Loyalty is always better than fear,” Thomas replied.
“C’mon. We need to get the real work done, then we can go back to tempting each other.” She laughed with him. “Surely we can do both? Any good sovereign knows how to multitask.”
Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity,
the fairy stirred again. Growling like a feral beast, she said, “Fuck that fucking knife-eared slut. That gullible bitch has the brains of a slug’s butthole. Let me up, I’ll kill her.” She tried to sit up, then promptly passed out again.
“My Queen sent me to rescue you.” Holding the box out, she added, “Which I have done. Twice. That means you are now my human. Those are the rules, I don’t make them.”
“I have a feeling this discussion will be much more productive in the morning,” she whispered to him. “I agree.” After the day they’d all had, he had insufficient energy to deal with a horny, badly inebriated, and possibly murderous Elven Princess.
“We think this shaman was trying to collect a sample of my blood,” he replied. “I’ll fucking kill him!” Ginger screeched as she darted through the clearing. “I’ll rip his guts out and strangle him with them! I’ll feed his dick to the slugs! Where is he?” “She seems very excitable,” Laylana said as they watched Ginger buzzing around like an angry hornet. “You have no idea,” Candi replied dryly.
“You need rest. Speaking of which, how did you get here so quickly?” “Coffee. We were sipping coffee the entire way. It does wonders. Truly a magical drink.” There was a tense, nervous cheer from the new group. “That can’t be healthy,” Thomas muttered.
“I’ll get that elf bitch!” Ginger yelled, launching herself into the air. “It’s time to pay the piper, you pointy-eared slattern!”
“Holy fucksickle,” Ginger exclaimed. “Did Reggie come himself? What a moron!”
“Any suggestions?” he asked Ginger. “Don’t fuck up.”
Caution: All aggressive activities, including wars, assassination attempts, and other plots against other rulers must be paused no less than [7] days before the meeting. Any violence during the Council will result in punitive intervention from the Fates. To repeat this word of caution: Do not tempt the Fates. They enjoy violence.
“Veil Warden!” he snarled. “Your authority here is temporary. When this is over, I will come for you and all you love. I will smite your very name from—” The man cut him off nonchalantly. “I can't be arsed to remind you that threatening a Warden who is executing a Fated duty is a protected act. You know the Fate’s penalty for that, ye daft gobshite.”
“Our daughter is going to be the most deadly, bad-ass ovisari assassin who ever lived. People will die if she even looks at them funny. They’ll die if they mispronounce her name.” Thomas laughed. “I expect nothing less. And I guess we’d better pick a name that’s easy to pronounce.”
