The Upside of Your Dark Side: Why Being Your Whole Self--Not Just Your "Good" Self--Drives Success and Fulfillment

by Todd Kashdan

Defensive pessimists, according to Dr. Julie Norem at Wellesley College, “hope for the best but expect the worst.” It might sound as if these characters need to be fixed or improved or optimized, but hold that thought. Defensive pessimists do not necessarily wear dark glasses all the time or expect to fail in every life situation. But even if they were successful in the past, they know this time could be different. So when Mom has an upcoming plane trip with three small hyperactive children, she might burst out a defensive pessimism strategy that could include lower expectations for how things will turn out (the six people sitting near us will hate us, which is fine, because I will hate my life for two hours); or vividly detailed imagining of all the things that could go wrong (the kids will pull off someone’s toupee and toss it like a Frisbee, the pilot will come on the overhead PA system and ask passengers to look at my row so they’ll know who to blame if the plane crashes, and so on). Rather than firmly holding a perpetually sunny outlook and avoiding negative thoughts and feelings, defensive pessimists allow themselves to imagine how they will feel if things turn out badly. Julie Norem found that having burst through the stranglehold of positivity, defensive pessimists cope extremely well with the threat of failure and disappointment. By imagining worst-case scenarios, defensive pessimists transform their anxiety into action, implementing plans that can mitigate disaster.