The Upside of Your Dark Side: Why Being Your Whole Self--Not Just Your "Good" Self--Drives Success and Fulfillment

by Todd Kashdan

Edward O. Wilson describes the value of boredom in his autobiography, Naturalist: Adults forget the depths of languor into which the adolescent mind descends with ease. They are prone to devalue the mental growth that occurs during daydreaming and aimless wandering . . . often I just sat for long periods scanning the pond edges and vegetation for the hint of a scaly coil, a telltale ripple on the water’s surface, the sound of an out-of-sight splash. How we react to this internal state determines whether boredom becomes a healthy or unhealthy influence. For instance, you can try to eliminate boredom with the ubiquitous availability of smartphones. Any time your interest level wavers, or you feel an emotion you don’t want to feel, you can immediately start texting, e-mailing, and calling people; if nobody responds, you can surf the Web, play video games, and avoid the self completely. But by trying to be entertained at all times, we are stuck in a cycle of experiential avoidance in which we are playing defense and hiding from discomfort. By force-feeding ourselves stimulation whenever boredom arises, we never experience the serendipitous growth opportunities that arise when the mind wanders without planned destinations.