Never Go Back

by Henry Cloud

PRINCIPLE Never go back to what hasn’t worked.

hope without realistic reasons to believe is not hope at all. It is only a “wish.” God gives us a solid way to tell the difference between a hope and a wish. It is called “fruit.” When a tree gets healthy, you can see the blossoms and the fruit that prove it has life in it. When a person or a situation has truly changed and is worthy of our investment, we will be able to see tangible reasons to believe.

Forgive people freely for the past; but in order to trust them for the future, you need to see tangible changes.

If you have to be someone else in order to do something, don’t do it.

be honest about who you really are and be that person. Find your gifts and exercise them with full engagement.

Sometimes clear consequences are the only thing that will cause someone to make a choice—whether it’s the choice we want or not. But we can’t control whether they make a choice or what choice they make. We can only be the best we can, offer them the best we have, and then allow them to choose.

Consequences are about giving the person the freedom to choose what they will choose, and then our choosing what our response will be in light of their choice.

When you realize that you cannot force someone into doing something, you give him or her freedom and allow them to experience it. In doing so, you find your own freedom as well.

Successful people realize that just because someone is unhappy with them does not require that they give up their purpose, fold their cards, or change. They

When we accept that every decision divides, we quit trying to do the impossible, i.e., pleasing everyone, and we begin making the right choices, knowing that our choices will divide.

The people who are hardest to please are often the most self-centered and are only happy when you do what is good for them—and that usually is not good for the whole.

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. —Hebrews 12:11, NIV PRINCIPLE Never go back to avoiding short-term pain when it leads to long-term benefits.

Anything of value has this rhythm to it: pain first, payoff later. If we face the pain early, the payoff will come.

suffer first, and benefit later.

The one who takes the long view is the one who thrives, no matter what happens along the way.

The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty. —Proverbs 21:5, NIV PRINCIPLE Never go back to taking the easy path and failing to do due diligence.

Our life is never on the outside. It is always on the inside. The invisible life always produces the visible life. Life works “inside out.”

Seek God, his kingdom, and his ways first. If you do, the outside will take care of itself.

We are free to choose our actions, but, unfortunately, we are not free to choose the consequences.

6. Models and Mentors: It is difficult for us to do what we have not seen done. We need people to model new things for us and to show us how to do them. A strong relationship with a few models and mentors makes all the difference.

“We don’t need new ways to fail. The old ones are working just fine.”