Because I spent a year of therapy focused on my own patterns (therapists are the worst), I am learning new ways of relationship-ing, which includes transparent conversations, saying when something feels bad, listening without defensiveness, and conflict resolution prioritizing connection. Here is how it feels in my body: Like I am being difficult. Because I believed “silence = I’m easy” and “hard = bad,” anything else makes me feel high-maintenance, my least-favorite trait. But turns out, grown-up conversations around feelings aren’t high-maintenance, they are just maintenance, which
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