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For anyone who has ever felt temporary. And for the nerds.
If I’d known demons looked like that, I wouldn’t have had such an irrational fear of letting my foot hang over the edge of the bed. Hell, I might’ve done it on purpose.
Trying to live. Trying to die, once. Trying to be kinder. Trying to be worse. Trying to make an impact. Trying to not make things worse. Trying to love better. Trying to heal. Trying.
The library was twice the size of her living room and soared two stories high, up to a ceiling that swirled with patterns of blue and green and white, like an abstraction of the coast that she’d called home. Two wrought-iron, spiral staircases led up to the second balcony level, and each full bookcase had a sliding ladder just waiting to fulfill her childhood fantasy. The far wall was dominated by a massive floor-to-ceiling mullioned window, with a bed-sized window seat piled with pillows, and a small selection of loungers and cushy chairs were carefully arranged in the central open area. A
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Beauty feeds the soul, my sweet boy. It takes many forms, some of them obvious, like a flower in bloom or the laughter of a child, but sometimes it is hidden, though it is never absent. Find beauty.
“Yeah… What about Sharkie?”
“when you are hugging a child, always be the last one to let go. You never know how long they need it.”
Seeing herself as unimportant was safe. Unimportance was safe, being a disappointment was safe. There were no expectations, no standards, no more pedestals to fall from.
How many times had she told her friends that no one’s opinion of them mattered more than their own? She’d cheered for them as they learned to care for themselves, to see themselves as wonderful and flawed and complicated and unique, convincing herself that while others deserved to take up space in the world, she was inherently too much, required too much space and effort.
“Grief isn’t linear. There’s no formula to it, and sometimes you feel guilty for feeling or not feeling a certain way. That’s okay.”
“In the equation of grief, as one of the people who has been left behind and had to mourn, I promise you that your brothers know. You loved them. You still love them. If they know nothing else, they know that, princess. Just like they know that you did the best you could while you were there.”
Our first thoughts about a situation are seldom what we actually believe. They are what we have been conditioned to think, or sometimes they truly are random spits of consciousness. But our second thoughts, ah, that is where we are. It has helped me, working in this position, to forgive myself for my terrible first thoughts, and to pay more attention to my second thoughts.”
text him like normal. “I like seeing all your texts when I get a chance. It’s like a little diary of your thoughts. Even if I can’t respond, it reminds me that, no matter what, you’re still out there doing things, being badass and having a great ass.” She’d told him
willing
Vulnerability isn’t a race, it’s a conversation.
“There is teddy bear nice, and there is momma bear nice. You are momma bear nice.”
of
away. Moura had left to help, along with Krun and a dozen others who had served,
If I only had a shred of the faith in myself that this child has in us to figure things out and deal with stuff, I would be unstoppable.
“Nothing about us feels temporary, and things that aren’t temporary require effort. I can’t do this for you, Bel, but I will do it with you, and I am honored to do so.”
nothing.
