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He’d never been worthy of the kind of love and devotion he craved before; what reason did he have to think that had changed?
he wasn’t worthy of the kind of love that lasted.
For the first time in too long, he wondered if things had changed.
Her cheeks heated, so she moved on. “Princess?” she asked. He hadn’t said it with mockery, but with genuine affection, which was odd, considering that nothing about her honestly said “princess.” “Oh.” Bel coughed and seemed to fumble for an answer. “Yeah, that just kind of slipped out. Like, a warrior princess, fierce and capable and braver than an army, you know? I, uh, I thought it the first time I saw you. And ever since. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I won’t say it again.” “No, no, I actually like it,”
He thought she was fierce and capable and brave? Nothing about you feels temporary.
“I like seeing people get excited about stuff. Happy is a good look on you.”
“when you are hugging a child, always be the last one to let go. You never know how long they need it.”
“Are they nice like you?” Sharkie asked softly. “Some of them are probably nicer. But I’m the only me. And you’re the only you. There’s nothing wrong with any of that.”
You don’t have to worry about changing the whole world, princess, that’s too big for anyone. But if anyone can change that child’s world, it’s you. So, don’t turn it down because you think you’re not qualified. There are resources here for her, but love and safety are what she needs more than anything else. You’ll tackle the rest too. I know you will.”
“I’ve got you, princess.” I know.
I’ve got this. It might not be perfect, but it will be my best. No one had it all figured out.
“Bel?” “Hm?” She opened her mouth, met his gaze, and thought better of it. Then thought again. He needed to know. It was important that he know. “I know you don’t feel like you earned being a prince,” she said. He stiffened so completely that even his tail stilled. Shit. She forged on. “But you’re a prince to me. Not in the shitty paperwork, ‘you got assigned to be a prince of Hell’ way, but in the ‘you have a good heart’ way.”
She turned her head to look at him with a smile, then fought to remember how to breathe.
Bel shot her a look that had liquid heat dripping through her veins and curling through her abdomen, before aiming a cheerful and completely benign grin at Sharkie, bracing one elbow on a knee and holding the pinkie of his other hand out to her. With that tiny gesture, Lily realized that she was utterly fucked. What she felt for Bel in that moment was so far outside the realm of “only friends” that she had no idea how she’d keep a lid on it.
“I’m sorry,” she said gently. Confusion flashed across his face. “Why are you apologizing to me?” “Because I know. I know that if anyone were to find out about what those monsters have done, what they will do, they’ll blame it on ‘Satan’s influence.’ I’m sorry because they’ll never see this. They’ll never see that Lucifer, ruler of Hell, took time out of his day to comfort a child and be enraged on their behalf. They’ll credit you for the evil things that happen, not the justice you represent, and I’m sorry. However, when the fuckers who did this get down here, and it’s time for them to reap
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Life has wounded you in its own way, but that does not diminish who you are, and who you could be, if you only stop being afraid of yourself.”
Home and family may not always look the way we imagined that they would.
her friends that no one’s opinion of them mattered more than their own? She’d cheered for them as they learned to care for themselves, to see themselves as wonderful and flawed and complicated and unique, convincing herself that while others deserved to take up space in the world, she was inherently too much, required too much space and effort.
Afraid. I spent my entire life afraid. What a fucking waste.
pizza was abso-fucking-lutely a salad—or
“Cancer may not be sung about in songs, or woven into a tapestry but that does not make the heart and fight required to combat it a lesser thing.”
“If you’re scared and choose to be fierce anyway, that’s called being brave.”
A little gasp. “You said a bad word.” “There’s no such thing as bad words, baby, just words that need to be used in context. There are words that some people aren’t allowed to say ever, but swear words are just words that need to be used in certain situations and not used in others.”
“I want to be happy with you, princess. For as long as you’ll let me. Whatever time we have together will be a greater gift than I deserve. And when you go back to the mortal world”—his voice grew raspy—“I will be cheering for you every step of the way, honored that, even for a short time, I got to call you mine.”
If I’ve learned anything from grief, it’s that we should all love like mortals.”
Things that end hurt, but they’re all the more precious because they end.
he’d never do anything without her enthusiastic permission—but with the urge to beg, something he’d never done in his long life. Beg her to stay. Beg to fuck her. Beg her to stay while he fucked her. Beg her to read to him in her lovely voice. Beg her to love him. Beg her to smile at him, just one more time. Always one more time. He’d better be the one doing the begging, because if she ever begged him, he’d lose his fucking mind.
For what it’s worth, I’m proud of you. Proud of you as a general. Proud of you as a prince. Proud of you. That’s not empty bullshit praise. I see you. I don’t know all of you yet, but I know you, and I see you.”
“Bel, you are enough. You make existence better, just by being you.” She swallowed. “And nothing about you feels temporary.”
Bel closed his eyes and thought of Lily’s hands on his face instead. She’d touched him so delicately, as if he were some precious, fragile thing instead of a demon and a warrior. No one had ever done that. Looked at him with such tenderness. Lily saw him. Saw the warrior, yes, but she saw the rest of him too, and she hadn’t curled her lip in disgust or treated him as less than. There’d been no pity in her eyes. Just understanding. One warrior to another. You are more than enough.
Just because you don’t noticeably grow today doesn’t mean you’re not growing at all.”
He nipped carefully at her lower lip before pulling away with a twinkle in his eyes. “You bite me, I bite you back, princess.” “Awesome, can I choose where?” His eyes heated. “I’ll accept suggestions, but I make no promises.” “Tease.”
“Making mistakes isn’t wicked,” he said gently. “Especially when you’re a child and don’t know any better, because you’re still learning how to be a person. My mom didn’t take my dessert away because she was mad at me and wanted to take something away from me. She was mostly scared for me. It’s funny now, but I could have seriously hurt myself, or someone else, by flying through a window like that. I had to learn to be more careful. The no dessert was so I’d understand how important it was.”
I think I fell in love with you when you came here to share the apology pie I got from Greg and made me feel more seen than I ever have before. You’re everything to me, Lily.
“I will savor whatever time I get with you, and I will never ask you for more than you’re willing to give. I came into this decided about that. I’ll love and support you either way.”
This”—he held her file up—“is important because you are important. But it doesn’t define you, and it’s not going to change a damn thing about how I feel.
“I thought that the building I live in was my Paradise. But then I met you, then I met Sharkie, and I’ve had so many moments since then that I’ve thought put the physical location of Paradise to shame. You have no idea how many of those moments have been with you. Almost every time we’re together, you redefine what is actually Paradise to me. And right now?” She ran her fingers down the side of his rugged face, and he leaned into the touch. “Paradise,” she said quietly.
Lily had remade him.
