For Whom the Belle Tolls

by Jaysea Lynn

It is a condition of life, of being, that our minds shock us sometimes. But this is where we define ourselves: we are either horrified or confused or disgusted by these thoughts and work to change them, or we let them rule us. Our first thoughts about a situation are seldom what we actually believe. They are what we have been conditioned to think, or sometimes they truly are random spits of consciousness. But our second thoughts, ah, that is where we are. It has helped me, working in this position, to forgive myself for my terrible first thoughts, and to pay more attention to my second thoughts.”

There are many things in this world both terrible and beautiful, and all of them require courage.

“But, Sharkie? Just so you know, it’s not your job to take care of either of them. They’re grown men, and you are a child—our child—even if you are growing up. Kids shouldn’t have to take care of their parents like parents take care of their kids. Absolutely be there with him, spend time with him, all of that, but it’s not your job to make him happy or feel better, okay?”