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We aren’t together – haven’t been for a while – but Stacey is my girl. Mine.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. You’re okay. You’re safe with me,” he says softly as he strokes my hair, letting me cry into his chest. “I found you, little one.”
“You are also my priority. I would have always hunted for you to the ends of the fucking earth, little one.
“The world really has no idea who you are. You are a little bit nutty, but you care a lot about your family. You taught yourself to love – in your own way, yes – but that alone goes against everyone’s opinion of you. You aren’t heartless, Tobias. Who cares what the world thinks?”
If Stacey ever lets me hold her hand again, will she feel all the death I’ve caused?
I think I might be in shock. I was in love with Kade Mitchell, and now he’s going to kill me.
I just needed to apologise. You don’t have to ever forgive me, but I want you to know that if I had all the time in the world, I would spend it trying to win you back. I’d prove myself worthy of you, Stacey. Because there hasn’t been a day that’s passed where you haven’t kept me going. My love might not be enough for you, but it’s all I have left. I love you. I love you so fucking much that I want to live.”
“You can’t blame yourself for any of this, Stacey. He’s the monster. He’s the one who took from you. And, therefore, he’s the one at fault. Survivors deal with abuse differently, and not everyone can speak up. I don’t want to hear that from you again.”
For the longest moment, I stand in silence, waiting for the relief to set in, the weight on my shoulders and chest to vanish, the sickness in my stomach to go away, the breath that makes me feel at ease. It doesn’t come. None of it does. Everything he caused is still there.
I’ll spend the rest of my life by his side, even if he can barely look at me, register that I’m sitting beside him or speak to me. I’ll hold his hand when he needs me to. I’ll just… be there.
“I love you. Every broken part of me has loved you from the moment I met you.”
“Even if I’m a bag full of trauma?” I smile. “I have my own bag. We can swap when they get too heavy and we need a balance.”
“I want your heart, every single fucking fragment that I’ve broken over the years. I have your past and your present, and I want to be a selfish asshole and have your future.”
I think I’m becoming dangerously obsessed with the idea of putting a kid in her. Maybe because I think there’s still a chance I might die, and I want to leave a part of myself behind for her to love. A mini version of myself I might never meet.
even when terror and havoc and death greet us at every turn, someone, somewhere, is having the best day of their life.

