Restitution (The Edge of Darkness, #3)

by Leigh Rivers

“Because I love you. Because I’ve always loved you. Regardless of what you’ve gone through and the changes we’ve both had to make to our lives, my feelings remain the same, Kade. I won’t stop loving you.”

“You have a beautiful soul,” she says. “You’re worth more than death.”

She’s the only person I’ve ever willingly wanted. The only person to turn me on. The only person I’ve pictured spending the rest of my life with.

“It’s just me and you. It’s always been me and you. Against the world.”

“I love you. I’ve loved you since we were eighteen. And I’ll love you until we’re old and grey and we’ve lived our whole lives together.”

“You… you were – are – the perfect big brother for me and Kade. The best. Caring, supportive, funny and exactly the kind of sibling everyone deserves. I love you, Jason. I-I miss you.”

He’s not wearing his face covering. I’m glad; I don’t want him to hide from me. When I kissed his scar before, I was showing Kade that it’s a part of him, and I love all parts of him. Even the darker ones. I’ll always love those parts of him.

Nothing about Kade scares me. Even if he did chase me down a highway on a motorbike and point a gun in my face, shoot at me, finger me while covered in blood, along with all the other messed-up things he’s done. He doesn’t scare me. That side – the scary, vicious and extremely dangerous side – is the one everyone sees, but I get to see a different Kade.

The real Kade.

The one who went on holiday with me. Got drunk and sang karaoke, swam in the sea and kissed me under the sunset. He’s the one who sent me good morning and goodnight texts every d...

Everything he’s done in his life – kill, fuck, torture – he did to protect those...

He’s the only person I’ve ever wanted to be with. Kade Mitchell loves me. I’m his. And he’s mine.

“You should be scared of me. I might worship the ground you walk on, but you don’t have the faintest idea what I’m capable of. I could snap your neck without blinking, mistaking you for a client. I could fuck you so hard you pass out. I could really hurt you, Stacey.”

“You once told me not to be afraid of you. That sometimes people need to change to survive.”

“You’re here,” I say, lowering my hand between us and palming his thick length through his trousers, making his fingers dig into my skin. “You’re alive. You’re fighting back. That’s survival, Kade.” I smirk as his pupils dilate. “Now you’re mine and only mine.”

“You’re the last person in the world I’d ever want to hurt,” I tell her, taking her hand and pulling her towards me. “But I’m scared I do. Why won’t you run from me?”

“The only way you could hurt me is if you pull away from me again.” She straddles my lap as I straighten my legs out, her arms wrapping around my shoulders. “I don’t know why we’re still here or why the police haven’t blown into the manor, but we should make the most of every minute we have.”

“You’re insatiable, do you know that?”

“Only for you.” I force out the words and focus on her. “I’ve been attracted to you since we were fifteen. But why is it that even after all the times we’ve been together, I want more? It makes me crazy. You make me crazy.”

She tells me she loves me, and I say it back. She tells me that we’re going to have loads of babies, and I tell her we’ll start right away, but she thinks I’m joking. She tells me that she’ll find a way for me to see the dogs while in prison, and I tell her they’ll keep her warm in bed since I won’t be able to.

“I love you,” I pant. “I’m going to prove to you

“Forever my addiction,” he mutters. “I’m obsessed with everything about you.” The suction on my clit grows more intense as he shoves two fingers inside and fucks me with them. “But your pussy is my fucking drug.”

“I can never get enough of you, Stacey. Even when I’m dead, I’ll be haunting you, inside you while you lie in our bed, remembering all the ways I’ve rocked your fucking world with my cock inside this pussy.”

“I’m proud of you. I don’t know if I’ve ever said it, but I am. You’re so strong, Stacey. You’ve been strong enough for the both of us. Thank you.”

“I was an asshole, yet here you are.”

“We have years. Let’s make it up to each other until we’re old.”

I have a shot of happiness with Stacey. If I can survive the underworld’s backlash, then I could have a happy ending with my girl, our dogs and any children I’ve already knocked her up with.

Base doesn’t give me a chance to decide; he grabs my shirt and yanks me to them, and the three of us hug it out. Dez says we’re insane, Base says he’s a boring pussy, and I shake my head at them and tell them I love them.

We became best friends in school. I was annoyingly popular because of who my dad was, and Base was cocky, even at the age of seven, while Dez was our sporty sidekick. I had no need for friends – or so I thought at the time. I could never have imagined how important they’d become. Our trio. The ones who got me into trouble with the law and gave me my first drag of a joint; who got me drunk and egged windows with me. Who crashed Base’s car and left that heap of shit wrapped around a tree after attempting to teach me how to drive.

In the end, it was my brother who taught me. My friends were...

“Well – you are. The sooner you believe that, the better. You’re my other half, and one day, you’re going to be the best father in the world.” I cup his cheek and stroke it. “One day at a time. You’re not a bad person, Kade. You’re everything to me.”

She took what was mine. She warped Kade’s mind and turned him into a… machine. She tried to destroy him, but as he places soft kisses over my face and helps me wash my hair, I realise the only thing she did was try and fail to do all those things. Because he’s here, with me, loving me forever.

Kade is still that eighteen-year-old boy, nervous of touch, falling in love with his sister’s best friend and not having a clue how to control his emotions.

The fifth rule never existed.

I’m even more in love with her now. My girl.

“Please,” I beg him, my free hand reaching up to cup his cheek, my jaw rattling. “Please don’t. You’re giving up. Please don’t give up. Please, Kade. Please.”

“I’m not giving up. I’m giving in. I’m not innocent, Stacey. I’ve killed hundreds of people. Some of them were innocent. I’m tired. Exhausted even. I’m not going to allow you to ruin the rest of your life for me. I’m staying and surrendering. I’ll accept the punishment. I’m not dragging you through all of this.”

“I’m so sorry, Stacey. I’m sorry for everything. For not seeing what was happening at home, for leaving you, for taking so long to get away from Bernadette. If I could go back to being eighteen and carefree with you, I would.”

“I can’t do this without you. You’re all I have, Kade. Please.”

“I love you, Stacey. So fucking much. I love you. ...

“I love you,” he says, breathless from running after me. “I’ll love you for the rest of my life. I love you more than fucking anything, but I need you to walk to the porch.”

“I’m yours, and you’re mine.”

“Forever,” I say shakily. “I love you.”

“So beautiful, even when you cry, my Freckles. You’re amazing, do you know that? I was lucky to have you for even a short space of time. There aren’t any threats left. No Chris, no Bernadette. You can dance and sing and live.”

It’s the strong connection between us. The love. The possessiveness of what we have. We’ve belonged to each other since we were fifteen, in a way. I’ve always wanted him, and now I’m about to lose him – the boy who sat at the pool, whose cigarette I stole; the innocence of him as he used to watch me, as I’d watched him throughout the years. Until that first kiss, and the second, and every kiss after. We fell harder than I thought possible. We lost. We fought. But after so many hurdles, we were so close.

We were going to get the happy ending we wanted. Where I’d give him children, marry him, build a home and grow old with him. I was going to fall asleep in his arms safely every night and wake to his, Good morning, Freckles, and laugh at his, You are a terrible singer, Freckles.

The dogs would have sat on the porch while I read, and Kade would have been building a tree house and attaching a swing for the kids. He’d be chasing them across the grass as their dark hair flopped in the wind, their tiny legs barely able to carry them away from their loving father.

We were supposed to ha...

“You’re everything to me, do you know that?” I take her face and tilt her chin, kissing her on the lips. “Everything.”

“We don’t have time to debate this. It’s done. You’re going to kiss me, then you’re going to go to your brother and go live your life. You’re going to dance. You’re going to fall asleep next to the dogs every night, and you’re going to be there for my sister and my niece or nephew. You’re going to live, Stacey. Fucking live for me.”