Restitution (The Edge of Darkness, #3)

by Leigh Rivers

There will be a quiet moment in our lives when the world stops moving, our lungs stop working and we close our eyes for the last time. And that terrifies me.

One blink, we have a life and a future and a purpose. We can breathe fresh air into our lungs and listen to the rain pattering against a window. We meet someone amazing, go on dates and get to know them until the butterflies are unbearable. We buy books that sit on our bookcases and gather dust. We can listen and sing along to our favourite songs until our throats get sore. Watch movies and cuddle on the couch until we fall asleep. We can walk our dogs under the pale moonlight and laugh with our friends while living in the moment.

In one stilted moment, we can see the world and all its colours and smell the oceans and flowers. We can eat junk food until our stomachs are full. And dance in a studio, in front of a crowd, or in the kitchen while we cook. Maybe in the shower if the mood strikes. And in the next, it can all be taken away by a bad decision, an illness, a fatal accident, old age.

“I want your heart, every single fucking fragment that I’ve broken over the years. I have your past and your present, and I want to be a selfish asshole and have your future.”

Sometimes I’ll be sitting doing nothing and I’m hit with a wave of worry about something that shouldn’t even concern me. It’s fucking annoying.