Restitution (The Edge of Darkness, #3)

by Leigh Rivers

Hands grab at my face, forcing me to look up into the eyes of my new master. Tobias Mitchell.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. You’re okay. You’re safe with me,” he says softly as he strokes my hair, letting me cry into his chest. “I found you, little one.”

“You are also my priority. I would have always hunted for you to the ends of the fucking earth, little one. I know you didn’t have the best relationship with your father, your brothers are useless pricks, and my son is shackled to a bitch on an insane power trip, but you have me.”

I’m giving you a day to run. Make it exciting for me. Because once I find you, I’m not going to bury my cock inside you – I’m not going to kiss you until we can’t breathe.” I go pale as he deeply chuckles, inhaling smoke. “I’m going to fucking kill you, Freckles.”

Don’t underestimate me, Stacey. I’m not the stupid little boy who fell in love with you. Run, and I’ll come find you. This is my final warning. Stay, and I’ll kill them all. That’s a promise.”

Pulling that trigger and the way I spoke to her… she’s never going to forgive me. All I want is her forgiveness.

I just need Bernadette to think I’m serious about killing my ex, even if it means scaring the shit out of Stacey in the meantime. It worked, I’m sure of it. She was terrified, and I can still hear the tremor in her voice that fucking broke me.

“I don’t know what’s happening with you, but if you need to do this assignment for your freedom, I’m willing to let you do it. I…” Her voice breaks, and so does my heart. “I don’t have anything to live for, but you do.”

The one who shot at her. The ex-boyfriend who would burn the world down for her. The piece of shit who could never fall out of love with her. I nearly drop to my fucking knees, staring at her little dimple and the freckles dusting her cheeks and nose. She’s truly a work of art. A masterpiece. And I’m proud to say that I was her first love.

When I left for Russia a year ago, all I could think about was her. In fact, since I met her at fifteen, I’ve not had one day where she hasn’t been on my mind.

I’ve broken the last piece of us that was left hanging by a thread. But I had to. I had to make Bernadette believe I would hurt her, so I could get this moment right now.

Her forehead lowers to my chest; she must be able to feel how fast and hard my heart is beating. “Please just shoot me and get your freedom, Kade. I can’t hear this – not when I’m ready to give up. Please don’t give me something to live for.”

You don’t have to ever forgive me, but I want you to know that if I had all the time in the world, I would spend it trying to win you back. I’d prove myself worthy of you, Stacey. Because there hasn’t been a day that’s passed where you haven’t kept me going. My love might not be enough for you, but it’s all I have left. I love you. I love you so fucking much that I want to live.”

The first time I saw you, I was yours. I’ll always be yours, Freckles. Our girl will be proud of the woman you’ve become. You’ll both always be my girls.”

Kade’s lips lightly graze across my nape to my ear. “I’m going to make you come in front of this piece of shit.”

Hurt him with me, Freckles. Make him pay for ruining our lives.”

You gave me a reason to live when I felt like I was already dead inside.”

You feel alone,” I say, my voice breaking. “So do I.” When he doesn’t look away, I press further, sliding off the bed and onto the floor. “You feel broken.” A beat, and I add, “So do I.”

“I want you to know that it’ll be me who kills you. Kade might have caused you all the pain you deserved, but it will be me who ends your life.” I harshly slice to the right, the sharp edge of the blade cutting through skin, flesh and muscle. Blood hits my face, mixing with my tears. “I hate you, Chris. And if by some miracle you make it to heaven, I hope my mother kicks your ass. If not…” I lean forward to whisper in his ear as the gurgling stops. “I’ll see you in hell.”

I had to do a lot,” he says. His pupils are dilated as he stares through me again. “If she knew what Archie did to me, she’d never go near me again.”

It’s more than just a kiss. It’s everything he wants. Everything he had. And everything he’ll lose. It’s a goodbye. A see you later. An eternity of wondering what if. I know what he’s going to do. He’s going to raze her empire from the inside, and he’s going to take himself out in the process. Because he loves his family, and he’d do anything to save them.

When he pulls back from the kiss, he presses his lips to her forehead. “I love you. Every broken part of me has loved you from the moment I met you.” “I love you too,” she sobs. “I need you to come back to me. Please. Please, Tobias.”

I’ll make it worth it, little one,” he whispers against my hair. “Just you watch. Heaven and hell will see the flames of their downfall.” Tobias winks at me

I open my eyes to see Kade’s brother standing in front of me. He drops to his knees as Aria reaches him, but it’s too late. The bullet is lodged in Jason’s skull.

Jason was getting clean. He was going to therapy, he’d started back at the gym and had a goal to be better. Not just for the woman he loved but for himself. He was supposed to live. To get his life back. To help Kade get his life back and fix his relationship with his brother. He isn’t supposed to be gone. He wasn’t supposed to jump in front of a bullet for me.

Jason McElroy is a hero. My hero. Everyone’s.

He’s so blank, I’m terrified. There aren’t any tears – just anger. “They want a war?” he says. “Well let’s give them one.”

I crack my neck to each side. “I want to make sure I’m clean.” “Ah, yes,” he says with no judgement. “I’ll get one first thing in the morning.” Then there’s a long pause. “Do you want to talk about it?”

She doesn’t know me now, and I’m not sure I want her to.

What’s making her so upset? Could be several things. Her dead brother. My dead brother. My soon-to-be-dead father. Or me. Her vile ex who can’t even look at her without feeling his hands tremble and hiding his face like she’d judge him. I’ve kept my distance, and I intend to keep doing so. Maybe she’s just tired. Tired of all this bullshit. I know I am.

She moves closer, and I stiffen. “I love you, Stacey, but I’m not ready for any of this,” I say, getting to my feet, her eyes lifting to follow my movements. “I’m sorry.” Her gaze drops. “I just want to help you.” “I know you do.”

Do I fuck my own inner turmoil and kiss her anyway? No. She’ll feel my scar and I’ll probably pass out. I already feel faint thinking about potentially hurting her.

She was my anchor. I think she still is.

And I really do fucking love her. I don’t want to confuse her, but I also don’t want to push her away. I’m at a crossroads, in all honesty. I want Stacey. I need her. But I’ll hurt her, both physically and mentally. What if I lose myself during sex and hallucinate? What if I shoot her in my sleep?

Being loved by Stacey Rhodes is a dream. Why does my dream need to be a nightmare?

look at her, wondering if she knows just how much they both violated me. Would she see me differently if she knew I was raped by them both? That I was raped by both men and women, sometimes at the same time? A part of me thinks she does know. Yet she’s still here, in my bed, spending time with me. She doesn’t think I’m disgusting or used. “Do you want to talk about any of it?” “No,” I retort, hating myself for the shitty reply and the way she flinches. “Shit. Sorry. No. You’d run for the hills if you knew half the stuff she made me do.”

She’s the only person I’ve ever willingly wanted. The only person to turn me on. The only person I’ve pictured spending the rest of my life with.

“Kiss me,” she whispers against my mouth, knowing how desperately I want to do just that. “It’s just me and you. It’s always been me and you. Against the world.”

My entire world feels close to collapsing at her words, and I want to smother her with everything I have and protect her. I want to take her away from all of this and start a new life.

I can’t talk. I try to tell Stacey that everything’s going numb, but the words come out slurred. My vision blurs, and the last thing I hear is Stacey gasping as my body violently jerks before everything goes black.

Base isn’t even here to comfort her. He’s in Russia, battling with his family to cancel the arranged marriage he agreed to and get back to the girl he loves.

“He kissed me. The other day, seconds before he had a seizure, he kissed me. I think that triggered him. It was the first time in a year we’d been… like that.”

“But, despite every reason not to, I want to be with you. I need you.”

“I forgave you,” I reply, my voice shaking. “I don’t know how to forgive myself for everything I’ve done, so how can I expect you to do the same?”

“I need you too,” I add. “Even if I’m a bag full of trauma?” I smile. “I have my own bag. We can swap when they get too heavy and we need a balance.”

I almost smile, elated deep within as butterflies bloom, as I look into the eyes of the only person I want to be with. He’s the only person I’ve ever wanted to be with. Kade Mitchell loves me. I’m his. And he’s mine.

“Your little speech to my mother isn’t happening. I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve your forgiveness,” he says, making my body sing as he brings his mouth to my ear and lowers his voice. “I don’t deserve to even be in your fucking company.” Shivers overwhelm me as he presses a kiss against my heated skin. “But I want you. I want everything you’ll give to me. I want you around me, beneath me, on top of me.”

I have your past and your present, and I want to be a selfish asshole and have your future.”

“What will you do with your freedom?” Kade stares at me for a long moment, breathing the same air while I touch him through his clothes. “Win my girl back.” My heart sings at his response, and I grin. “Yeah?” “Yeah.”

sensitive area between my legs that’s buzzing for touch. “I dream of you,” he says in a deep voice, his eyes darkening as he pulls his belt from the loops of his black trousers. “Every night, I dream of you.”