Restitution (The Edge of Darkness, #3)

by Leigh Rivers

It was always going to be me or you who died today, and I would never let anything happen to you. I just needed time to say I was sorry before it was too late.” Her hand snaps out to grab my gloved fingers, the other pulling up my visor. “I want to know what you said in the voicemail.”

Instead of telling her what I said, I smile, even though she can’t see my mouth. “The first time I saw you, I was yours. I’ll always be yours, Freckles. Our girl will be proud of the woman you’ve become. You’ll both always be my girls.”

Kade stops pacing and looks at me. “Go upstairs.” I tilt my head. “What? No.” “You know he’s going to suffer – I’ll make it painful – so go upstairs. You don’t need to see this.”

“He killed our daughter,” Kade says as he slips a blade into my hand. “Hurt him.” My eyes close momentarily, my high building, and I grit my teeth, remembering everything he ever did to me, to us, while Kade keeps touching me, his other hand sliding up my chest, between my breasts, until he’s holding my throat. “Hurt him with me, Freckles. Make him pay for ruining our lives.” I barely register the blade lodging in Chris’s thigh, or Kade’s fingers wrapped around mine, both of us holding the blade’s handle now. My stepbrother cries out then grits his bloody teeth, unable to move from his restraints. I breathe, pulling the blade out and doing it again, but Kade lets go, dragging his hand up my thigh and circling my clit while his other fingers keep fucking me.

“She’s not there. She’s not there. She’s not fucking there.” They’re uneven, his face red as he forces each one out. “Stop looking. She’s not there. She’s never there. Not there. No. She’s not there.” This is a massive flip from the way he was while I was in that room with him, while he whispered in my ear, fingers deep inside me. Until it all got too much and I had to leave. He was in control of himself, semi-sane, but now it’s like his bubble has burst and the entire world is on his shoulders.

My voice cracks. “I’m your Freckles, remember?” The hand beating against the side of his head stops, and his fingers curl into his palm as he drops it so he can hold his knees with both arms.

want the real Kade back. This Kade Mitchell is a glitch in the universe. But he’s my glitch, not Bernadette’s, not Archie’s, not the men and women who paid for his forced services and punctured him with needles to dope him up.

I don’t want to confuse her, but I also don’t want to push her away. I’m at a crossroads, in all honesty. I want Stacey. I need her. But I’ll hurt her, both physically and mentally. What if I lose myself during sex and hallucinate? What if I shoot her in my sleep? Maybe I can ask her to be my friend?

“Because I love you. Because I’ve always loved you. Regardless of what you’ve gone through and the changes we’ve both had to make to our lives, my feelings remain the same, Kade. I won’t stop loving you.” “I wish I could be the old me again,” I admit quietly. “I hate who I am now. Because all I can think about is killing people.”

It should cause shivers to go up my spine and make me as horrified as his family, but I’m proud of him.

Stacey didn’t fucking answer me. Is that a yes or a no? Do I need to get down on one knee surrounded by roses with a violinist playing? Do I need to put a shirt on our future child that says, Marry Daddy? Get the dogs involved? Write the words on a dessert in chocolate in a fancy restaurant? I’ll ask again later. And I won’t let her off without an answer.

I stop laughing and growl at him, packing the bowl of the bong and lighting it to take a hit. The rage I get when any of them mention her and something sexual is instant.

“No time for dramatics,” Tobias Mitchell says

He pulls Base to him and presses his forehead to his. “I know you need this, but I fucking can’t.”

“Please don’t. You’re giving up. Please don’t give up. Please, Kade. Please.”

“I can’t do this without you. You’re all I have, Kade. Please.” Kade’s shaking against me, his own tears wracking his body. “I love you, Stacey. So fucking much. I love you. I’ll never stop.”

Stacey. Fucking live for me.” “I can’t live without you.” “I love you. I’m so proud of you,” I say, my eyes burning as I hold her against me. “So, so fucking proud.”