Sweet Temptation (Love & Legacy #1)

by Bella Matthews

I’m a complicated fucker. Not that fucked covers how bad this situation sounds, but considering it’s my favorite verb, adverb, adjective, noun, and motherfucking pronoun, it’ll do. And it’ll do spectacularly— because I am spectacularly fucked. Lexie Sinclair. My best friend’s little sister.

She was the first girl I wanted to touch. To taste. To claim as my own. And the first and only girl I didn’t chase. For so many reasons . . . Linc and Lochlan may be on that list, but they weren’t even at the top of the thing.

There was a time I would have done anything to get Lucky Beneventi to notice me. Really see me. But he never did. Not as anything other than his best friend’s little sister. Guess some things never change.

You never forget the sound of your mom’s whispers to your dad in the hushed night as he holds her . . . crying that you can’t die. That she can’t lose you. That her biggest fear is you not waking up.

I know I’m going to die. We all will . . . someday. My someday will just be earlier than others.

She’s meant for a love that lasts forever. And that’s the cruelest part . . . She doesn’t have forever to give. —Lexie’s Secret Thoughts

loving what you do is what makes life easier, but there is so much more than that in life. Don’t get so caught up in work that you forget to live.”

You know the best way to avoid temptation? Fucking avoid that shit like the plague.

I didn’t pick up a ball until I was ten and Linc threw a ball at me at a party. I knew Loch and him. I was a grade above them. But we weren’t close. Not until that day. Not until that ball. That fucking ball changed everything. By the end of that day, I knew I wanted to play football forever. I also knew I wanted to marry Lexie Sinclair. She’s the only thing I’ve ever denied myself. And I did it for her, whether she knows it or not.

Nothing is happening. Nothing is going to happen. It can’t. I won’t let it. Why should I when it’s always going to end the same way . . . ?

She’s not looking for a knight in shining armor. Who needs a savior when you could have a man who would burn cities to the ground for you? Now tell me, which is sexier? —Lexie’s Secret Thoughts

“There never would have been those girls if I was allowed to do what I wanted to do with this one,” I argue. “You created me, old man. You told us all about wanting Mom for years. How, when you find the right one, you just know. And the minute you saw my interest in her, you and Cooper acted like the worst thing in the world for her was me. I’m pretty sure that’s what you told me that summer.”

Most guys grow up hero-worshipping their dads. I know my brothers and I did. But then the day comes, and you realize he’s not a hero. He’s a man. One you’ve looked up to. Probably emulated. Definitely tried to make proud. But he’s just a man, which makes him innately flawed. We all are. And suddenly, the worship isn’t quite the same. Guess now’s that moment.

I’ve managed to ignore this woman for years, but that was before she moved in with us and turned into a walking red flag, swinging in front of me like I’m the fucking bull.

Date a man who opens the door, then smacks your ass when you walk through it. —Lexie’s Secret Thoughts

100%

“Remember, Lex, I’m the villain, not the hero,” he warns. Maybe one day I’ll tell him I don’t need a hero.

Lucky Beneventi might be the villain in my fairytale, but given the choice, I’m not sure I’d have it any other way.

“That look right there. That look says you’re lying.” Lochlan lifts a brow, daring me to say he’s wrong. “It’s the same one you had yesterday whenever you looked at my sister. Fuck, man . . . It’s the same one you’ve had for years. You might not actually be lying to me, but that’s because you’re definitely dumb enough to be lying to yourself.” There are only two guys in the world I respect as much as my brothers. And Lochlan is one of them. But if I were him, I’d want to kill me for the thoughts I have about that woman.

“Do you even know your sister at all? The last thing she wants is for a man to come in and treat her like she’s breakable. She doesn’t need anyone to take care of her. She can take care of herself.” I made that mistake before, and it cost me more than she knows.

Lexie’s not a princess. She’s the fucking warrior.

“First rule of surfing . . .” Her eyes light up like I’m giving her the fucking world, and it might just be right now, right here, when I decide that’s exactly what I’m going to do. “You can’t surf in a sweater, Lex.”

I used to hope it was you and me in the end. That was before I realized how soon the end would come and how selfish that made me. —Lexie’s Secret Thoughts

I don’t want to fall in love because I don’t want to know that I’ll have someone to leave when I die. If I’m lucky, I might get twenty years. Maybe. I’m not one of the lucky ones the new miracle CF drug has helped. I’m going to die. That’s my reality. It’ll be messy, but I’ve known that my entire life. It isn’t fair, but life isn’t fair. I don’t want to know I’m leaving behind the love of my life to pick up the pieces.

Any relationship with me comes with an expiration date, and I don’t want to do that to someone I love. The only way to control that is to not fall in love.

“Have you ever wanted something you knew you shouldn’t have, Lucky? Wanted it so bad, even though you knew it was a bad idea?”

With anyone else, one night would be perfect. But not with this girl. One night with Lexie will never be enough. A better man wouldn’t take what she’s offering. He’d demand to know why. He’d tell her she deserves more. But I’m not a better man. I’m fucking starving, and she’s the only thing I want.

Tomorrow, I’ll worry about breaking down whatever fucking wall she’s throwing up between us, but for tonight, for right now, this woman is mine. I’m done fighting it. It’s time I fight for us.

Mine is like a mantra screaming in my head. Fuck one night. One lifetime won’t be enough, and I know it.

Just one taste is never going to be enough. Deep down, I already knew that, but nothing in the world is going to stop me from taking everything he’s offering.

Being a functioning adult every day seems a bit extreme, don’t you think? —Lexie’s Secret Thoughts

I will always be that girl who believes love will save us all . . . I just know there’s no saving me. —Lexie’s Secret Thoughts

We’re all haunted by the same two ghosts⁠— the ghost of the things we’ll never get to experience and the ghost of the things we’ll never forget. I’m not sure which is worse. —Lexie’s Secret Thoughts

I’m not used to begging for anything, but for this woman and this woman alone, I will.

I don’t have to save the princess. I can fight as hard and dirty as I need to, to get what I want. And not even the devil himself is gonna stop me.

Time is your most precious commodity. Spend it wisely. —Lexie’s Secret Thoughts

Doing something your head knows is the right thing is so much easier when your heart is on board, and my heart isn’t on board.

I’ve got the best job in the fucking world with the best team in the fucking world. My life is missing one thing, and she’s already there, but she just refuses to accept it. Time to fucking change that.

There isn’t a world where it wasn’t going to be her and me in the end. But fuck me, hearing her say it makes it a little more real. Can you love a woman you’ll never be good enough for? Never truly be worthy of?

We all do stupid stuff when we’re kids. That’s normal, little brother.” She tosses the dinosaur to me and tugs a basket full of toys over. “It’s what we do when it matters . . . how we choose to handle ourselves then. How we step up for the people we love. That’s how I judge the measure of a man.”

“Should I be scared?” The question is meant to be a joke, but in reality, everything about Lexie scares the shit out of me. Loving her. Possibly losing her. Fuck. It goes hand in hand. “You wouldn’t be in love if you weren’t scared, Lucky.” Well, hell . . . When you put it that way, there’s no arguing she’s the love of my life.

“I’m a bad bet, Lucky,” she whispers as the next episode starts. “I’d bet on you and me all day every day, Lex.

I will restart my favorite song if you talk through it. Sometimes I wish we could do that for our favorite days too. —Lexie’s Secret Thoughts

Find something worth dying for and live for it. —Unknown We’re worth it, dolcezza. Live for me. Live for us. Live loudly. Live without regrets. You said I was the person who let you live, so do it with me. —Lucky

“When did you become important to me?” I whisper, my voice betraying my heart. “You weren’t supposed to be this great big thing in my life, Lucky.” He crosses the kitchen in two strides and holds my face in his big hands. “You were always going to be the biggest thing in mine.” He presses our foreheads together, and his warm breath fans my face. “Let me in, Lexie. Let me love you.”

“I’m going to destroy you, Lucky.” “Then let’s make every minute count.”

I don’t know what breaks me more. His words. His arms around me. His willingness to be with me, even though we’ll never truly get our happy ending. It all hurts, but he’s still here, and he’s begging me to be here with him. To let go and trust he’ll catch me.

I want to live. I want to love. I want to let people into my life without worrying about the what happens when of it all . . . And if I want to do all those things, I’m going to need some help getting there.

She’s quickly become the sun my entire fucking world orbits around, and if that means I only have twenty years to feel her warmth shine on me, then so be it. I’d rather live every day warm beside her, for as long or short a time as I’m given with her, than a lifetime of coldness without her.

Thanks for waiting for me to figure out how to let myself be loved by you and to love you back. I never saw you coming, and now, I can’t imagine my life without you.” She closes her eyes. “I’m sorry you’ll have to live yours without me.”

Loving Lexie will come at a price. One I would do anything to avoid, if I could, but I can’t. There is no avoiding it. But here’s the thing. I love Lexie more. More than my life. More than my fear of losing her. More.