But I think seeking him was about me inviting the wildness. Standing up to it, without fear, and in some way, bringing it back within me. I searched because I never felt a sense of masculine initiation. I never felt fully like a man. Now I was hunting for the Kodiak bear, and for peace with a man I wanted to know better, my father. I wasn’t sure how to hunt for either. Or what I was supposed to do once I found them. I do know the wild masculine doesn’t live at home, inside stainless steel kitchen appliances or behind white picket fences. He’s not sleeping on my couch, putting his feet on my
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