Loving a Vampire Is Total Chaos (Total Chaos, #1)

by Aura Hayes

I’m practically humping her like a dog, and I’d let her leash me any day.

Children are one of my least favorite things with their whining, screaming, and messiness but it can usually be blamed on shitty parenting. My one exception for a crotch goblin is if Celine wants children. I’ll give her as many as she desires. I look forward to practicing the baby making. Wait. Babies. Celine. I need to write that down. Pulling my trusty notebook and pen out of my pocket I lick my finger and flip it open to a new page. Quickly scribbling, Breed Celine, under a new list titled Goals in my long life with Celine.

He grabs my finger so quickly I can barely react and nips at it. I try to pull away, but he refuses to let go. “Lockwood. Zavier Lockwood. L-O-C-K-W-O-O-D. Why aren’t you writing this down? It’s going to be your last name one day, too.” His grin is downright wicked.

Zavier’s Date Ideas for Whooing His Mate: Bowling - Asher’s bitch ass ruined this one Karaoke - Show off my golden pipes Navy Pier, Ferris Wheel - Basic and done before Skip everything and go straight to fucking her senseless - My favorite

Did I sneak into her apartment to get a pep talk from my hype kitty? Absolutely. Midnight is my best friend. I just can’t let Tom find out or his feelings will be hurt.

This can’t be the end. She doesn’t know how big of a dick I have yet. I’m going to die and she doesn’t even know.

“I haven’t gotten to go down on you yet, how could I pass away?”

“I meant I’ve never exactly had sex with a vampire. I … I’m not on birth control and I don’t know about you, but I’m not ready for any human-vampire kids running around.”

His bottom lip pouts even more. “But they’d be so cute.”