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RULE #2: IF YOU HAPPEN TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR STEPBROTHER, NEVER LET IT SHOW. NEVER.
I’ll get over him someday. I have to. Because at the end of the day, Garrett sees me as his little sister, while I see him as the love of my life.
“Turn on your audio. I want to hear the sounds you make when you come.”
RULE #4: IF YOU FIND YOURSELF GETTING OFF TO YOUR STEPSISTER, IT’S A SIGN YOU PROBABLY NEED A BREAK.
I do need some time off, but that little voice inside my head keeps nagging me, telling me I can’t stop, can’t rest. That I must keep working and pray the club doesn’t fall apart while I’m gone. But then if it doesn’t fall apart without me, it means I was never really needed in the first place, right?
Yep, I definitely made shit weird when I dry humped her into the couch last night. I’m an idiot.
“I wish I fucking knew why, but I can’t stop thinking about you. Don’t get me wrong—you still drive me insane. You’re bratty as fuck, and I don’t know if I want to strangle you or shut you up with my cock in your mouth, but seeing that photo of you tonight put me over the edge, Mia. I don’t care that you’re my stepsister, and I don’t give a fuck that you’re a camgirl.”
“Mia, you can’t lose your virginity to your thirty-six-year-old stepbrother. You just…can’t.”
“Someday a man will come along who won’t like what you do. He’ll want you to himself because he thinks you’re nothing more than a body he can control, and it will be because he’s insecure. A real man knows that truly possessing someone is a privilege, and it’s not their body you’ll own. It’s so much more. I want you to know the difference, Mia.”
RULE #20: IF YOU GO SNOOPING AROUND SEX CLUBS, CHANCES ARE YOU’LL WALK IN ON AN ORGY.
“Mia,” I say, bringing her attention to my face. “Eyes on me.”
RULE #23: IF YOU’RE MAD, STAY MAD. THE SEX IS BETTER THAT WAY.
To be honest, sometimes I’m caught between wanting to keep you innocent and wanting to corrupt you.”
The last thought that drifts through my mind before I go under is the reminder that I just lost my virginity…to my stepbrother…in a sex club. This is really not at all how I saw this summer going.
“Love isn’t shit. It’s not worth a damn thing. But time, attention, priority…those things are real, and until a man gives you those, don’t give him the time of day, beautiful.
There’s not a hint of an apology on her lips, and I’m glad. I don’t want her to be sorry. I just want her to be mine.
When moms know, they just know.
“Don’t forgive him until he earns it.”
I’m a mess. My whole life is a mess. Every single decision I’ve made has led me to this mess.
Replaying today funnels into replaying last night, then the last week, then the last month, until I realize that my life is shit. My job is shit. My friends are shit, and every good feeling I had when I woke up today is stained black.
Before I know it, I’m in a bad-decision spiral, and the rest is an accident. It really is. They’ll say it wasn’t an accident, but it was. Because I don’t want to die. I just don’t want to live like this anymore.
“Garrett, you let me stick a butt plug up your ass in front of a hundred people. The least I can do is hear you out.”
It was a nonconsensual kitchen cleaning.”
“As long as I can remember. It felt like a dark voice in my head, always telling me how bad I was, how hopeless everything was, and I had no choice but to believe it. I was the laid-back, easygoing guy. I wasn’t supposed to be depressed. So I did everything I could to hide it.”
hid it especially from you. I did everything I could to keep people from seeing it. But then after a while, it felt like…no one really saw me anymore. It was easier to stay alone, watch from the sidelines, and never put myself in the position to be vulnerable. Ten years went by like that.”
