Roomies

by Christina Lauren

“Brian. If you’re not going to be helpful, please feel free to step out.”

hesitate. “I want to do it for Robert. It feels like a chance for me to give back a little.” “Give back?” Davis repeats. “You work there. You don’t owe them your virginity.”

know I’m always encouraging you to get a life,” Lulu says, sliding her hand into mine, “but this is like me suggesting you eat something and you go and scarf down three dozen donuts.”

“I think the flesh-colored ones have a weird sense of sadness to them.” I sit down beside him. “Like a penis separated from its host.” “That is a very sad prospect, indeed.”

Wtf are we talking about

I don’t care what time it is, it’s five o’clock somewhere.

Gorgeous gorgeous girlies do not encourage this behavior

“I told my parents,” Calvin says casually. I squint up at him. This surprises me, given how fast everything happened. “When?” He sips his drink, lifting it in thanks to Lulu. “Before the wedding.” “They were fine with it?” I ask. He nods. “They were thrilled.” “You told them why we got married?” “No,” he says, setting his drink down so he can fill his plate. “I told them I met a girl. It’s true enough, innit?”

I cant help but think that this is because of misogyny. Why was everyone pooping their pants over her virginity but no such talk comes up for him smh

Once again, she was on obnoxious overload, teasing me in biting, passive-aggressive ways, buying shots for Calvin and Ramón, sitting on their laps, flirting shamelessly. Lulu’s always been my wild friend, but never this sharp before.

She's not your friend Holland honey

“For the love of God, who do I have to blow to get a fucking electrician over here?”

Best line in this damned book

I’m wondering whether that has us both a little jittery. Maybe you’ll find something to help you in the couch.”

Clever-ass callback

“I’m sorry, sweetie, I don’t remember you mentioning an audition. I would have helped you with—” “Of course you don’t.”

It's time to leave

I pull my book from my bag, and realize it’s too dark

Fucking booooook neeeeeerd

“No.” I loathe shopping. “I have a nice black one I can wear.” My proper dress.

Fantastic exquisite callback