The Fall Risk

by Abby Jimenez

I remembered the first time Seth came hobbling home on crutches a week ago. I actually felt a little sorry for him. He’d been struggling to get his door open while he carried a bag of groceries and I’d almost popped out to help. Then I remembered that’s how Ted Bundy had lured his victims, and I changed my mind.

remembered the first time Seth came hobbling home on crutches a week ago. I actually felt a little sorry for him. He’d been struggling to get his door open while he carried a bag of groceries and I’d almost popped out to help. Then I remembered that’s how Ted Bundy had lured his victims, and I changed my mind.

“Female trees produce fruit. Fruit falls, it makes messes, it attracts vermin. So most trees planted in urban areas are male. They put out pollen with no female trees to absorb it, so it ends up in the air instead.”

“That is botanical sexism,” I breathed. “Also, that would make a great band name.”

“So you have a fish?” I asked. “Yeah. A betta fish.” “Oh. Does he have a name?” “He does. Swim Shady.” I barked out a laugh. “Is he the real Swim Shady or . . .” “All the other Swim Shadys are just imitating,” he said, totally serious.

“So the sock,” she said. “If you swing a baseball bat at someone, they sometimes try to take it from you. So if you have a sock on there, the sock slides off when they grab the bat, it puts them off balance, and you get a second swing to break their skull.”

“Did you just send what I think you sent me?” “An unsolicited deck pic? Yes, yes, I did.” I snorted. “If you trimmed those hedges, it would look bigger,” I said.