The Fall Risk

by Abby Jimenez

“Red flag guys aren’t your type. They’re your pattern.” There was a long pause. “Why’d you have to come for me like that?” “Because I love you. I want to see you happy. I think you pick toxic men because it’s what you think you deserve. And then you chase them off, or they prove they’re exactly what you think they are, and they leave you, and you think you deserve that too. You don’t. You are very worth loving. And sticking around for.” Silence.

I’d never cared for this holiday. It always seemed like an excuse to spend money. Today it felt like an excuse to make Charlotte smile, which meant I was now a fan.

The point was that I couldn’t enjoy my life. I was furious at the system that allowed this. The law enforcement and courts that didn’t protect me, the mental health support systems that weren’t in place to help George before he became who he was, the society that told me my job as a woman was to smile and be nice to a man who gave me the creeps until it went on so long it turned into this. And I was so tired. Sick to death of living this way.