Slash or Smash (Festive ASF)

by Dee Garcia

To all the Halloqueens dreaming of sexy masked men who swap spit—and other stuff—for funsies… This one’s for you.

I’d much rather rot on the couch with a cozy sweater and my third pumpkin spice latte of the day, while reading a smutty book or rewatching Halloween movies.

There’s truly nothing sexier than a confident fat girl who simply doesn’t give a fuck…and I don’t have a single one to spare.

My brother and I simply have a penchant for sharing women. Probably a good thing we’re not blood related because we often enjoy indulging in one another, too…

And yet…I’ve never felt more alive, out here living my best masked man fantasy as if they couldn’t turn on me and actually kill me any second now.

“Yeah? Does that big cock feel good inside you while you get your pussy licked?”

“Jesus-fucking-Christ, I was worried. I thought they took you out back and killed you or something.” Yeah, killed this pussy.

“Oh, I so fucked them, and it was better than a pail full of candy. Happy Halloween to meee.”