That Time I Got Drunk And Saved a Human (Mead Mishaps, #3)

by Kimberly Lemming

I always hated those princess stories. I couldn’t imagine why the lazy thing didn’t just get up and leave. Ironic, since I was now stuck in that same situation. Turns out, when a dragon holds you hostage, he doesn’t just let you get up and leave. Who knew?

Yet when I opened my eyes again, the Fates had looked down on my plea and said “fuck your feelings.”

Fact number two: dragons are fucking dramatic.

I know the saying is money can’t buy happiness, but I feel whoever came up with that never had a shopping spree on someone else’s gold. Cause I felt pretty damn happy.

But this far north, the dominant weather this time of year seemed to be colder than a witch’s tit in a brass bra,

But nothing could have prepared me for the visceral hatred I felt for the sun who dared to set on my days with her. I wanted to fly up in the sky, rip the sun god’s still-beating heart from his chest and lay it at Cherry’s feet so the days began and ended at her discretion.