That Time I Got Drunk And Saved a Human (Mead Mishaps, #3)
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5%
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“Slow,” I told myself. “Stairs are evil and out to get you.”
9%
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What did he know? I could be nice. What other dragon could spend months cooped up on a ship with a bunch of insufferable idiots and not kill a single one? No one, that’s who.
13%
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“I can’t kill you; you smell like flowers,”
23%
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Were all dragons assigned tiny butler animals or was it a rite of passage kind of thing?
42%
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“And you are petrified of snow and a moose.” “I am not petrified, I just didn’t know what they were!” “And yet, you chase after a phoenix and marvel at the bones of a hydra. I’m starting to have serious concerns over your ability to process danger.”
48%
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“Do not ask if I am alright when you were moments away from being taken from me.”
54%
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In that moment I felt I could see into every facet of my wife’s mind. If she had the ability, and if door frames had complex enough lives to warrant a family who would love and miss them in the event of their demise, she would send pieces of its body back to them in a methodical pattern. Then make wine from their tears. Instead of ever entertaining the notion that she may have just not looked where she was going. I was both in awe of and in deep fear of her. If this wasn’t love, it was damn close.
62%
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“I’m not a patient man. Show me a crumb of interest and I won’t give a damn where we are.”
64%
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Somewhere deep in my soul, the moral compass guiding me through life shriveled up and died. Public decency? Never heard of her.
66%
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The mere thought of standing seemed like an impossible task. Was it possible to orgasm your way into an early grave?
81%
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His expression was reverent, the look on his face held promises of adoration and unspeakable violence.
90%
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“Careful, Princess. Leave the decision-making up to me and you’ll end up bent over my throne with a pretty collar around your throat.”
90%
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I am a dragon through and through. I want to take the treasures I hold dearest and hide them away, deep where no one else could dare lay eyes on them. You most of all. Just for a night, let me covet you in a way only one of my kind could understand.”