Seeing Red (Bliss Peak #2)

by Shon

To everyone brave enough to chase their bliss today because they know tomorrow isn’t promised.

Noah with his attentiveness and need for quality time. And Greyson with his broodiness and silent acts of service.

Noah was bisexual and tended to be a serial monogamist in his twenties,

All I wanted was to be in love and have somebody who loved me just as hard, and I feel like I fucked up my only chance at that.”

“You didn’t fuck it up, you saved yourself. And that’s the hardest part.”

That was love, in its simplest form. Wanting the best for someone. Sometimes even if they didn’t want the best for themselves.

There was no need in worrying about a future I wasn’t even sure existed. This was exactly where I needed to be today and that was all that mattered.

I’d admit to pissing on his Egyptian cotton sheets before I ever told him what really happened.

I missed having someone inside of me. I missed someone holding me down while they fucked into me with abandon. I missed being worshiped and used, fucked nastily and adored in the same breath. I missed somebody wanting me and showing it.

You and me both, girl

I finally nailed down prospects after mining through no less than fifty “wyd” and “send me a pic not on your profile” messages. Was this how men in their 30s approached dating? None of them had liked it very much when I sent a picture of my upcoming phone bill.

There was Keenan in his striped suit and canary yellow Crocs.

Be for real

“I’ll take you on a million dates and buy you a million dresses. Just promise me you won’t entertain another clown like this.”

“I was serious, True. You want dates? I’ll give you dates. You wanna be fucked, I’ll fuck you every night. Whatever you want. It’s always been whatever you want, you just had to ask.”

I wish Heaven had FaceTime so I could see your face again.

God, these men were dramatic. So fucking clingy and affectionate. And what did it say about me that I loved it so damn much?

You want both of us? Have both of us. But you need to understand that he is the only man I will share you with.”

“Why does it have to mean anything? There are a lot of people out there living life the way they want. That’s between you and the people you love. If you wanna put a label on it once you figure it out, then fine. It doesn’t change anything.”

“You want dates? That’s our job.”

“You want dick? That’s our job too. Whatever you fucking want, True. As long as you fucking want it.”

“IwaslookingupcatlitterandcattreesforwhenwebringDuchesshome.”

Why do you fight it when people give a fuck about you?”

I would never be able to erase the urgency in Noah’s tone from my memory while he tried to tell me everything “wrong” with him like they were something worth not loving him for.

“Nobody who loves you would sit there and let them talk to you crazy like that.

“Because y’all are…everything to me.”

*cues Everything by Monica*

Stop giving him access to you. But don’t ask the people who love you to stop loving you. Because that’s what you do when you love somebody, you don’t let people treat them like shit.”

being a business owner meant I had to be the bigger person, even when people deserved hell.

“Why you gotta know everything? Why can’t you just make peace with some things not making sense and enjoy them anyway?”

Tell her Grandma Ruby Jean

But you telling me that just because you didn’t see it coming, it ain’t good?”

Enjoy what you got in front of you right now, lady bug. The rest will figure itself out.”

“I’ll say whiskey if I want you to stop,”

If this woman talked me into a hands-free orgasm, she would never know peace again. I was already obsessed with her and the husky lilt to her words right now was driving me further into that obsession.

I don’t care if you like me. I don’t care if you accept what I do for a living. I don’t care if you think I’m too soft, too freaky, too anything. Because I’m not trying to make anybody happy but myself. Whether you like that or not, it ain’t changing anything.”

So proud of Noah

He saw me and showed up for me without me having to ask.