Duplicity (Seraph)

by Elodie Hart

She’s even valiantly pretending not to be repulsed by my dog, Mark. He may be my favourite sentient creature on this planet, but, God bless him, with his mismatched eyes and weirdly short legs, his looks won’t be flooding anyone’s Instagram feed in the near future.

our sister Mairead spends most of her time managing stallions with boners—she runs our family’s stud farm—Gabe

Because this time, I’m a big swinging dick in my big swinging dick office, and she is not my acquaintance’s stupidly hot friend but instead a candidate for the most big-swinging-dick hire I’ve ever made.

‘Fuck. Does your cunt go to a special cunt gym? Because it’s fucking ripped. Does it lift weights? Do squats?’

I take them both in, and I know for certain that I will never be the same again.