Project Hail Mary

by Andy Weir

“gentlemen’s equipment,”

Right that is perfect

“Bah.”

Me hungry me big man me need more food

Oh, thank God. I’m a teacher.

Please

Thirty years. I looked out at their little faces. In thirty years they’d all be in their early forties. They would bear the brunt of it all. And it wouldn’t be easy. These kids were going to grow up in an idyllic world and be thrown into an apocalyptic nightmare.

Hmp

I put my hand to my chest in mock surprise. “Goodness me! DuBois appears to be black! I’m surprised you allowed it! Aren’t you afraid he’ll ruin the mission with talk of rap music and basketball?” “Oh, shut up,” she said.

LMAOOOOOO DO NOT DO ME RIGHT NOW

“Gosh darn it!” I said. “Language!” came the voice over the radio. “Seriously, though, what happened?”

Not the Captian America reference

“It’s quite pleasurable.”

I am screaming

“This is waste of time. Also waste of my food.” “I need to know if I can eat your food.” “Eat your own food.” “I’ve only got a few months of real food left. You have enough aboard your ship to feed a crew of twenty-three Eridians for years. Erid life and Earth life use the same proteins. Maybe I can eat your food.”

Lmaoooi

“Why would ship have name, question?” I shrugged. “Ships have names.” He points to my pilot’s seat. “What is name of you chair, question?” “It doesn’t have a name.” “Why does ship have name but chair no have name, question?” “Never mind. Your ship is the Blip-A.” “That is what I said. Flash in ten seconds.” “Copy.”

Rocky is so snarky i love him

“You face is leaking.” I wipe my eyes. “Human thing. Don’t worry about it.” “Understand.” He pushes himself along to his airlock door. He opens it and pauses there. “Goodbye, friend Grace.” I wave meekly. “Goodbye, friend Rocky.”

Now my face is leaking

I’m going home.

Dudeeeeeeeee

“No. You no can die. You are friend.”

I am EMOTIONAL

Is has mitochondria—the powerhouse of the cell.

The meme i am crying

The other side of the divider wall has thirty little Eridians bouncing around like idiots.

Ha he is a teacher again