Project Hail Mary

by Andy Weir

Who am I to question a creepy robot-armed computer overlord? I cautiously lick the substance.

This goes crazy out of context

They say hunger is the greatest seasoning. When you’re starving, your brain rewards you handsomely for finally eating. Good job, it says, we get to not die for a while!

Cool thing about pendulums: The time it takes for one to swing forward and backward—the period—won’t change, no matter how wide it swings. If it’s got a lot of energy, it’ll swing farther and faster, but the period will still be the same. This is what mechanical clocks take advantage of to keep time. That period ends up being driven by two things, and two things only: the length of the pendulum and gravity.

“How rough could it be?” I asked. “Cushy government job with the DOE. You probably get, what, twenty days off a year? All you have to do is show up and you get paid, right?”

Stop I know it’s a joke but it feels like an attack

This star I’m looking at…it’s not the sun. I’m in a different solar system.

Damn we’re fucked

penetrated the outer cell membrane with a nanosyringe.” “You poked it with a stick?” “No!” I said. “Well. Yes. But it was a scientific poke with a very scientific stick.”

children are animals. Horrible, horrible animals.”

They laugh, but it is true

if I had a nickel for every time I wanted to smack a kid’s parents for not teaching them even the most basic things…well…I’d

well…I’d have enough nickels to put in a sock and smack those parents with it.

“Ego?! This isn’t about my ego! It’s about my children!” “You don’t have children.” “Yes, I do! Dozens of them. They come to my class every day.

“Welcome to Hawaii, sir,” said the pilot.

what am I doing here

“Naval Station Pearl Harbor,” said the officer. “But not for long. Please follow me.”

This bitch right down the road???

“I teach junior high school science,” I said. “These things come up.”

I attend these classes and I fear they do not come up

As the great Albert Einstein once said: E = mc2.

I’m quoting this forever

I decide on a more tactile approach: I’m gonna start pushing buttons!

Real

Human beings have a remarkable ability to accept the abnormal and make it normal.

I beg to differ, unfortunately

“Are all Russians crazy?” “Yes,”

“Life is also reason for population discrepancy! Life is reason!”

“Astrophage has a predator!”

“No work. We die.”

Fr

“Earth’s had five mass extinction events in the past. And humans are clever. We’ll pull through.”

Babe I really hope we don’t ngl