Project Hail Mary

by Andy Weir

“How rough could it be?” I asked. “Cushy government job with the DOE. You probably get, what, twenty days off a year? All you have to do is show up and you get paid, right?”

Eyeroll!

Kids make a mess of everything. Especially when they start chewing gum. They all go through a gum phase—at least, a lot of them do—and they leave it everywhere.

Preach

Kids are smarter than most people think. And they can tell when a teacher actually cares about them as opposed to when they’re just going through the motions.

Period !

I even put a few Astrophage in a radiation-containment vessel and exposed it to the gamma rays emitted by Cesium-137 (this lab has everything). I called it the “Bruce Banner

I'm Dead lol

He points to the Popsicle-stick numbers I taped to the divider and then to his clock. He balls one of his hands into a fist.

Team Rocky

Hey, I’m going to fall unconscious and hallucinate for a while.

Gonna explain it this way fro now on.

“Well, you’re not alone anymore, buddy,” I say. “Neither of us are.”

Why did this make me emotional!?

“The vast majority of scientists and trained astronaut candidates are men. It’s the world we live in. Don’t like it? Encourage your female students to get into STEM.

We are aware of this, and we know this relationship can only end in death.”

How romantic

“Rocky!”

Oh thank heavens

“You will miss me, question? I will miss you. You are friend.”

Omg. I can't . My heart :'(

“Yeah. I’m going to miss you.” I take another swig of vodka. “You’re my friend. Heck, you’re my best friend. And pretty soon we’re going to say goodbye forever.”

“You face is leaking.” I wipe my eyes. “Human thing. Don’t worry about it.” “Understand.” He pushes himself along to his airlock door. He opens it and pauses there. “Goodbye, friend Grace.” I wave meekly. “Goodbye, friend Rocky.”

“Godspeed, buddy,” I say.

Sobbing

“No. You no can die. You are friend.”