Project Hail Mary

by Andy Weir

So I’m a single man in my thirties, who lives alone in a small apartment, I don’t have any kids, but I like kids a lot. I don’t like where this is going… A teacher! I’m a schoolteacher! I remember it now! Oh, thank God. I’m a teacher.

I chuckled

“Okay, you little reprobates. You’re radiation-proof, I’ll grant you that. But how about I stab you in the face?”

Yeah, I get it. I’m not laughing, but I get it.

Newest vocal stim

Did you hear that global warming has been almost undone?” She nodded. “Humanity’s recklessness with our environment accidentally bought us an extra month of time by pre-heating the planet.”

“Yes,” he says a little sharply. “Always Earth units. You are bad at math, so always Earth units.”

“Ilyukhina? How about you?” She set her beer down. “I want heroin.” Everyone looked at her. Even Yáo blanched a little. “Sorry, what?” I said. “Heroin.” She shrugged. “I have been good girl all my life. No drugs. Limited sex. I want to experience massive pleasure before I die. People

“This has been very awkward, thanks. I’m going to…go be somewhere else now.”

I hear Rocky punch the wall. “Anger!”

He skitters down to the dormitory.

Whenever Rocky skitters, I picture the mechanical spider leg baby head toy from Toy Story

“Obvious I can do that! You are stupid right now. You sleep. I watch and also design replacement tank. Agree, question?” He starts down the tube toward the dormitory. “Huh…” “Agree, question?!” he says, louder. “Yeah…” I mumble. “Yeah, okay…”

Omg sassy Rocky

When I can’t remove the bolt, I just start melting stuff. Can’t be stuck if it’s liquid.