Alchemised

by SenLinYu

“—in the hospital, every battle looks like losing. I can’t imagine what that’s like.” She looked at Helena. “All you see in there is the worst of it.”

“if anyone had told me you’d become so lovely, I would never have come near you. I was rather blindsided when I saw you again.”

“You’re like a rose in a graveyard,” he said, and his lips twisted into a bitter smile. “I wonder what you could have turned into without the war.”

“You made me feel like the parts of me that aren’t useful still deserve to exist. Like I’m not just all the things I can do.”

“Don’t die, Kaine,”

“There are far worse fates than dying, Marino.”

“I know. But that one you don’t come back from.” He gave a bitter laugh. “All right, then, but only because you asked.”

“You always have to come back,” she said. “All right? Don’t die. Promise—”

“All right…” he said, “but only because you asked.”

“Remind Crowther that if the Eternal Flame wants my continued assistance, they will keep you alive.”

I will make them pay if they get you killed.”

“You are not expendable. You don’t get to push everyone away so that they’ll feel comfortable using you and letting you die.”

“You are not replaceable,”

The reason I’m here—the reason I’m doing any of this—is to keep you alive. To keep you safe. That was the deal.”

“Call me, and I will come.”

“You’re mine. You’re mine.” He’d repeat the words over and over. “Say it. Say you’re mine.”

“You’re mine. I’ll always come for you.” He always did.

“Do you see my scars that way?” he finally said. “When you look at me, are they all you see?” She flinched. “No.” “Well.” He met her eyes. “I don’t see you that way, either. You’re mine.”

“Every time you asked, I promised I was yours. Always. There aren’t any exemptions or expiration dates on always.”

“I’ve never gotten to tell anyone about you. I’d want someone to know what you were like.”

“I’m sorry—I’m sorry—I’m so sorry for everything I did to you,” he said, his voice hoarse and broken. “I love you. You left, and I’d never told you.”

“You promised we’d run away together,” she said. “Remember?” He dipped his head. “Why is it that I have to keep all my promises, but you never seem to keep a single one of yours?” She shook her head, tilting up her face so their foreheads touched. “The first promise I made to you was that I’d be yours for as long as I live. I’m keeping that one.”

“I never—I never told you—I’m sorry I couldn’t save any of you.”

“We said always, didn’t we?” she asked, her voice strained. “Always. Well, if you don’t want that promise in full any longer, I’ll give it to you in increments.” She clutched his hand tighter. “Every day. I’ll choose you. That way you’ll know it’s still what I want.”

“I’m sure there will be good days and bad days for us. Too much has happened to ever really put it behind us, but if you choose me, and I choose you, I think we’re strong enough to make it.”

“Kaine—she has your eyes.”

“Love isn’t as pretty or pure as people like to think. There’s a darkness in it sometimes. Kaine and I go hand in hand. I made him who he is. I knew what that array meant when I saved him. If he’s a monster, then I’m his creator.”