Alchemised

by SenLinYu

“You are. It doesn’t matter what happens to you, you will still be mine.”

I love you.

I love you. She told him in the way she held him close; in the way her mouth met his; in how her hands trailed across his skin, mapping him, memorising every detail of what it was to be with him, his scars under her fingers. I love you. I love you. She told him in the way she let go of herself and held on to him instead. With every beat of her heart. I love you. I will always love you. I will always take care of you.

“Be careful,” she whispered. “Don’t die.”

“Don’t die, Kaine. You can’t leave me behind.”

“Mine. You’re mine,” he said as he kissed her. “Always.”

“You’re mine,” he said almost against her lips. “Mine. You swore it. Your Resistance sold you to me. I’m not going anywhere without you. And if anyone touches you, immortal or not, I will kill them.”

love you. I love you. I love you.

No amount of evasion could hide him; he was the fabric of her thoughts.

“Do you have a better solution for us this time, too?” he asked quietly. “After all, not every single horror that I’ve ever imagined has happened to you yet. Losing you and spending fourteen months trying and failing to find you. Finally getting you back, tortured and broken. Keeping you prisoner—the transference—raping you—” His voice was growing raw with grief and rage.

“Is this not enough? There are, undoubtedly, still unexplored depths to the potential misery between us. Shall we endeavour to achieve all of it?”

“This is the best I can do, Helena. I’m sorry, I know it’s never been enough for you.”

know you want to save everyone; you always do. Unfortunately, that’s not a talent I possess. At least this way you’ll see the war ended. I can give you that.” “No!” she said forcefully. He looked up at her, his face hardening. “You always said you wouldn’t choose me over everyone else. I am chained to a sinking ship. I will not take you with me.”

“You’re mine,” she said, heart pounding unsteadily against her ribs. “Did you really think I would still hate you once I remembered?”

I love you.”

“I love you. And I always will. Always.”

“I love you,” she said the words against his mouth, as if breathing them into him.

“I’m sorry—I’m sorry—I’m so sorry for everything I did to you,” he said, his voice hoarse and broken. “I love you. You left, and I’d never told you.”

“I don’t want to choose. I always have to choose, and I never get to choose you. I’m so tired of not getting to choose you.”