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She never thought she could know a person with such slow intimacy. She knew exactly how he would press his lips against the pulse-point of her throat, the way his body shifted when she was beneath him. The grip of his hands on her hips, his teeth grazing her inner thighs, and the heat of his tongue. “Mine. You’re mine,” he said as he kissed her. “Always.”
His fingers curled around the back of her neck, pulling her close until their faces were nearly touching. “You’re mine,” he said almost against her lips. “Mine. You swore it. Your Resistance sold you to me. I’m not going anywhere without you. And if anyone touches you, immortal or not, I will kill them.” He didn’t wait for a reply; he kissed her as though his lips were a brand on hers.
If Kaine found her, he’d understand. She could wait. Hold on. You promised you wouldn’t break.
Kaine, she knew. But Ferron was a monster.
“You’re mine,” she said, heart pounding unsteadily against her ribs. “Did you really think I would still hate you once I remembered?” She shook her head. “Even before I did, you were the only thing that ever felt safe. I thought I was going mad, but a part of me always knew you. I left a note. Didn’t you get my note? I love you.”
He drew back just enough to speak, his palm curved around the nape of her neck, his forehead resting on hers. “I’m sorry—I’m sorry—I’m so sorry for everything I did to you,” he said, his voice hoarse and broken. “I love you. You left, and I’d never told you.”
“My mother’s name was Enid.” Helena nodded. She remembered that. He looked towards the garden, fingers curling into a fist. “I always liked that name.” Slowly Helena realised what he was doing. This was his attempt at giving her what she wanted. For him, acknowledging that he would have a child, a daughter, meant acknowledging that he wouldn’t live to meet her. He was telling the stories so Helena could tell their daughter about him, about what he’d been like, before the Institute and the war.
Her mouth went dry. “But I have to save you.” “No.” The word was sharp. “You don’t. And you can’t. You are the only person who has never understood that.”
“I didn’t make plans past the war because there were never any plans to make. Holdfast, the Eternal Flame, they were never going to win, and I always knew that. Falling for you didn’t change that—it just…it just made knowing worse.”
