Alchemised

by SenLinYu

She had to endure. To stay alert. That way she would be ready. She had to stay ready. She would not let herself fade away.

vivimancer. Necromancy’s inverse twin, wielded on the living rather than the dead.

“This is elaborate, beautiful, professional work. A vivimancer manually rewiring the human consciousness.”

“Do I know you?” she asked as her eyes slid closed. “I suppose you do.”

MY HEART! I came back to this quote during Part 2.

She was not so foolish as to mistake calculation for kindness.

“Well, you—you have a natural talent for it. In another life, you could be a healer.” “One of life’s great ironies,” he said, glancing towards the door, his jaw tight.

his jaw tight. HIS JAW TIGHT. HIS. JAW. TIGHT.

She’d thought sometimes that someday, when she’d repaid her debts, accomplished all that was expected, and reached her own goals, she would like to be loved. To know what it was to feel wanted. Now this sick shame was all she knew.

“Oh, Marino.” His thumb trailed along her neck, following the scar below her jaw. “If I’d known what pain you’d cause me, I never would have taken you.”

MY HEART

“But at this point I suppose I deserve to burn. I wonder if you’ll burn, too.” His face was so close the words brushed against her lips, and his mouth crashed against hers.

“You’re mine. You swore yourself to me.” The words were growled in her ear.

WHAT

“I have warned you, if something happens to you, I will personally raze the Eternal Flame. That isn’t a threat. It is a promise. Consider your survival as much a necessity to the Resistance as Holdfast’s. If you die, I will kill every single one of them.”

THIS IS MY JAM. GIVE ME THE VILLAIN IN LOVE.

“Don’t die, Marino. I might miss you.”

“You know, there’s something about you, Marino, that inspires the most terrible decisions from me. I’ll know better, but then I’ll still…”

“I must admit,” he said in a low voice as though making a confession, “if anyone had told me you’d become so lovely, I would never have come near you. I was rather blindsided when I saw you again.”

“You’re like a rose in a graveyard,” he said, and his lips twisted into a bitter smile. “I wonder what you could have turned into without the war.”

“You made me feel like the parts of me that aren’t useful still deserve to exist. Like I’m not just all the things I can do.”

A healer and killer, circling slowly, the push and pull inexorable.

AAAAAAAAAH

“After you nearly bled to death here, I thought, at least I can keep her alive. She deserves to have someone who cares enough to try to keep her alive. I thought eventually you’d give up. But you will do anything to save the people you feel responsible for. Of course you’d weaponise your guilt in order to use mine.” He gave a low bitter laugh. “I’m sure there’s something poetic in it all, but right now all I feel is a new set of manacles.” He let go and stepped away from her, heading for the door. “So forgive me if I dislike looking at you. I’m still adjusting to the ways these new ones chafe.”

WELL, I'M DONE FOR

“Two souls is still a bargain.”

He asked her to reanimate him / necromancy

She pushed the energy out of her body and brought him back. It was more than just easy. It was instinctive.

Sacrificing herself to please others

It was impossible that he’d ever fought to his full potential before.

fought harder for her!

“You are not replaceable,” he said, his hands trembling against her shoulders. “You are not required to make your death convenient. You are allowed to be important to people. The reason I’m here—the reason I’m doing any of this—is to keep you alive. To keep you safe. That was the deal.” He searched her face. “They didn’t tell you.”

He touched her cheek, tilting her face up and kissing her. “Use the ring, call me, if you ever need anything.”

“I should have known—the moment I looked into your eyes, I should have known I would never win against you.”

“I’ve always thought my eyes were my best feature.” “One of them,” he said quietly.

“Don’t worry. I’m always going to come back to you.”

“When the war is over. We’ll run away somewhere no one knows us. We’ll disappear—forever.” His eyes flickered, but he smiled back. “Of course.” He was lying. They both were. It was daydream to think it possible.

I'M A MESS

“Mine. You’re mine,” he said as he kissed her. “Always.”

“We were—going to see the world together, remember?”

“You didn’t save me,” he said when he was finally capable of speech. “You just put us in hell for two years.”

“Every time you asked, I promised I was yours. Always. There aren’t any exemptions or expiration dates on always.”

OMG

“You promised we’d run away together,” she said. “Remember?” He dipped his head. “Why is it that I have to keep all my promises, but you never seem to keep a single one of yours?” She shook her head, tilting up her face so their foreheads touched. “The first promise I made to you was that I’d be yours for as long as I live. I’m keeping that one.”

IT HURTS, MAKE IT STOP

“We have to stop hurting ourselves for each other,” she finally said. “Both of us. We’re not going to last if this is the only way we know how to love.”

“We said always, didn’t we?” she asked, her voice strained. “Always. Well, if you don’t want that promise in full any longer, I’ll give it to you in increments.” She clutched his hand tighter. “Every day. I’ll choose you. That way you’ll know it’s still what I want.”

“I’m sure there will be good days and bad days for us. Too much has happened to ever really put it behind us, but if you choose me, and I choose you, I think we’re strong enough to make it.”