Alchemised

by SenLinYu

“If you really want the Eternal Flame to win, why keep climbing rank? What are you doing?”

been crying. “It was obvious that my offer was only accepted out of desperation. The Eternal Flame may claim to be honourable, but Crowther is a snake. Ilva Holdfast can promise whatever she wants; she’s only a steward, and a Lapse at that. She knows full well that if they win, the Eternal Flame will pick and choose which of her actions were legitimate. Anything Holdfast doesn’t like will vanish like smoke. I assumed that once I’d outlived my usefulness, you’d blow my cover to take advantage of the instability it would cause. So.” His teeth flashed. “I tried to position myself to maximise that fallout.”

So this was a goodbye fuck? Final payment for services rendered?”

Everyone who touches you dies.

“Atreus used to make Kaine swear he’d take care of his mother, because he blamed him for Enid being sickly afterwards. She wouldn’t leave Paladia, though, and eventually the torture caught up with her. She died at home, but there was nothing natural about it.”

She felt so used. She understood rationally that it had to be like that. The war was larger than any one person. Even Luc, whether his family legacy was real or not, was a figurehead, an idea greater than himself.

“He was so upset afterwards that he told me everything. He started crying after he told me about his mother. He always knew you were going to betray him. It was part of his plan. That’s why he’s kept climbing rank; he figured the more important he was, the greater the blow—when it happened.”

“My family and village were murdered at the hands of a necromancer. They crawled up from the ground and left me in the snow to die. When the Eternal Flame came, there was no saving them, only lighting the fires to erase the atrocities they’d become. I chose to distinguish myself with my willingness to do what is necessary. Not for glory or for the Faith, but because someone must do whatever it takes to stop the rot. I’ve never regretted my choice.”

“There was no time to train you for the assignment. We thought it best to let the deal run its course and—collect the pieces afterwards. It made you more convincing.”

Perhaps, looking at her as his successor, he did find her tragic.

A human eye encased in glass stared down at her. When Helena moved to the side, it rotated, following her. A shiver ran down her spine. She hadn’t even known that it was possible to animate only a part of a body, but it was undeniably animated. Perfectly preserved. Angled to see the entire landing from the shadows.

“After you nearly bled to death here, I thought, at least I can keep her alive. She deserves to have someone who cares enough to try to keep her alive. I thought eventually you’d give up. But you will do anything to save the people you feel responsible for. Of course you’d weaponise your guilt in order to use mine.” He gave a low bitter laugh. “I’m sure there’s something poetic in it all, but right now all I feel is a new set of manacles.” He let go and stepped away from her, heading for the door. “So forgive me if I dislike looking at you. I’m still adjusting to the ways these new ones chafe.”

“We both know that if someone can do vivimancy, they can do necromancy. And if there’s anyone who can figure it out on the fly, it’s you. I’m not going to do anything stupid. I just—” He swallowed. “I need to know this is going to work. Hel, this has to work.”

mortal Aspirants,

Soren was dead. Purnell was dead.

Her resonance wound through him like a current, knitting the wound closed with absolute efficiency, stitching the severed sections of his organs back together, rejoining the bones, but she didn’t stop there. She felt his mind return, a shadow, the barest glimmer of him, and she poured her energy into that. Come back. Come back. You can’t go yet.

It was Kaine.

“There’s plenty of people to replace me. I’ve always been expendable, remember?”

“You could be a healer,” she finally said as he removed the block on her nerves. She flexed her hand, opening and closing. It was still sore, and fragile as though hairline-fractured. “You have a natural talent for it.” “That’s one of the most ironic things anyone has ever said to me,” he said quietly.

“You are not replaceable,” he said, his hands trembling against her shoulders. “You are not required to make your death convenient. You are allowed to be important to people. The reason I’m here—the reason I’m doing any of this—is to keep you alive. To keep you safe. That was the deal.” He searched her face. “They didn’t tell you.”

“You don’t have to be alone,” he said.

“I don’t get to care about you.”

“If I care about you—I won’t be able to use you. And you’re the only hope I have of keeping everyone else alive.”

“This—is the way I wanted it to be,” she admitted. “With you. I wanted it to be like this with you.”

He was unfathomably gentle. His touch light, and yet it made her feel as though a flame were kindled inside her, a desire that made her ache. It wasn’t too fast, or too much before she was ready. He went as slowly as she wanted him to.

“No. It’s not.” She drew in on herself, chin down, speaking rapidly. “When I became a healer, I had to promise I wouldn’t ever—I took the vows—and—and then you said—about Luc, if he knew. I can’t stop thinking about that. That—that I’m a whore—” Her voice failed. “I’m sorry.” His hand still entwined with hers tightened. “I’m so sorry. I ruined so much of this for you. This is how it’s supposed to be. Let me give this to you now.”

“Helena.” Kaine’s lips brushed across her cheek and temple, his breath ragged. “You get to have this. You’re allowed to feel good things. Don’t be alone. Have this with me.”

“I think I’ve nearly memorised you,” she said. “Especially your eyes. I think I learned to read them first.”

“I memorised yours, too,” he said after a moment, and then sighed, looking away. “I should have known—the moment I looked into your eyes, I should have known I would never win against you.”

“I’ve always thought my eyes were my best feature.”

“This was a mistake,” she said. “I shouldn’t have come here.” His throat dipped as he looked away. “Don’t worry,” he said quietly. “This won’t complicate anything for you. You wanted someone to be with, and I was available. I know it didn’t mean anything.” Helena’s breath caught, and she swallowed. He wasn’t just someone. To her, he was— That was the mistake of it, what she was so scared of. Before she could even begin to invent a lie, something must have shown in her face. Her eyes always betrayed her.

Before she could bolt, he pulled her back to him and his lips found hers, and all her fears and guilt and resolution became lost to her. All she could think of was how much she wanted to be there, being touched by him. He was fire, and she was already consumed. “You’re mine,” he said against her lips, his fingers sliding along her throat, tangling in her hair, holding her fast as he dragged her nearer.

“You’re mine. You swore yourself to me. Now and after the war. I’m going to take care of you. I’m not going to let anyone hurt you. You don’t have to be lonely. Because you’re mine.”

“Kaine, I don’t think your father’s dead.” Kaine looked at her sharply. “What?” “When we rescued Luc, there was a lich. He told Sebastian that he was Atreus. He was guarding the door to the room Luc was in.” “No,” Kaine said, his voice shaking.

“No. He died. If he were still alive, he would have come back. For my mother.” His pupils had shrunken into sharp points of black, the denial stark.

“It was all because of her. I know what people said about them, about why he married her, but he—adored her. She was life itself to him. When I was born and she was sick, he grew obsessed with keeping her well, not allowing visitors or any potential disease near her. Morrough claimed he could cure her, that she’d live forever.”

“It was a failed experiment. Bennet spent weeks trying to heal it, and everything he did made it worse. When it was finally deemed a failure, he tried to scrap my body, but the array was pulling so much energy from the talisman, he couldn’t touch it. He assumed that eventually the energy would run out, or my body would incinerate around it, so they sent me home, because they didn’t want the potential fallout to contaminate the new lab.

“The Stone of the Heavens,” she said. “I didn’t know that’s what it was, and it’s not—really what the stories said. It was something made by the Necromancer, but Orion ended up with it, and people just assumed it was heaven-sent.” “And they gave it to you?” Kaine’s eyes were narrowed. “Apparently, it—chose me. It doesn’t work for most people.” Kaine had his hands on his hips. “And that’s how you healed me?” She gave a tight nod. “That’s how I healed you.”

“You think I don’t know I’m expendable? When you see fit to remind me of it at every turn? Well, you don’t have any right to be angry about that, when you’re just as much a part of it as any of them. You knew what was happening, and that I didn’t, and you still chose to be as cruel as you were. At least Ilva and Crowther manipulated me for a reason.” She looked away from him. “When were you even that kind?”

“Yes, you’ve apologised before, but you don’t change, so it doesn’t really mean anything.” “You’re right.”

“I’m sorry for that, too. I never meant for any of it to go so far. I knew the mission you’d been sent with, and I was sure I’d be immune, but realising it was all real for you—when it would work, and I’d find

myself falling for the trap I’d chosen—I’d do whatever it took to make you stop. It hadn’t occurred to me that they wouldn’t tell you.”

“I spent such a long time waiting to be betrayed, I didn’t want to care when it happened. I was trying to hurt you, but I am so sorry that I did.” She stared out at the horizon, shaking her head slowly. “I don’t know why I kept trying. You just had these moments when I could see how little of you was real. When you’d forget to pretend, you always seemed so lonely. And I was lonely, too.” She looked down at the scar in her palm. “I used to think that we were the reverse of each other. Now—” She looked at him and extended her hand. “—I can’t help feeling like we’re mostly the same.”

Life was not cold. Then he sat back enough to look at her. She watched the way his eyes moved, taking her in piece by piece as if he didn’t want to miss a single detail.

“Don’t worry. I’m always going to come back to you.”

“Bennet only cares about the aesthetics when it comes to the chimaeras. He forces things to fit together even when they shouldn’t. The reason the chimaeras are so dangerous is that they’re all rabid with pain. They usually die because the stress kills them. When Amaris arrived, she bit me about fifty times during the first week. You

Of course the chimaeras were savage. How could anything endure so much hurt and not learn only to bite?

“Don’t go,” he said softly.

“You know I have to.”

“No, I don’t. They don’t care...