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Women were always defined by the lowliest thing they could be called.
…
Rivertide was the name of Paladia back before the first Necromancy War. It had been wiped out by a plague, and when the Necromancer found it, he’d used the corpses for his army.
I tried to make her flee. I got it all arranged but—she wouldn’t go. Not without me. Said she couldn’t leave me here.”
It hadn’t occurred to me that I’d made you marketable.”
Her body was shuddering, but she cried silently. There was a trick to sobbing like that; it was something a person had to learn to do.
“I’m sure there’s something poetic in it all, but right now all I feel is a new set of manacles.” He let go and stepped away from her, heading for the door. “So forgive me if I dislike looking at you. I’m still adjusting to the ways these new ones chafe.”
It was Kaine. She’d never seen him fight. He’d never really fought with her. But she knew. There was no mistaking that brutal efficiency. He was as deadly as she’d imagined.
“You idiot,” he said, and dragged her up out of the water, crushing her hard against his chest.
“You could be a healer,” she finally said as he removed the block on her nerves. She flexed her hand, opening and closing. It was still sore, and fragile as though hairline-fractured. “You have a natural talent for it.” “That’s one of the most ironic things anyone has ever said to me,” he said quietly.
“You are not expendable. You don’t get to push everyone away so that they’ll feel comfortable using you and letting you die.”
the reason I’m doing any of this—is to keep you alive. To keep you safe. That was the deal.” He searched her face. “They didn’t tell you.” She shook her head, giving a broken sob and—before she let herself think—she kissed him.
He touched her cheek, tilting her face up and kissing her. “Use the ring, call me, if you ever need anything.”
“You don’t have to push me away to protect me,” he said in a hard, familiar voice. “I can take it. You can stop being lonely. I won’t misunderstand. I know you just want someone to be with.”
“I should have known—the moment I looked into your eyes, I should have known I would never win against you.”
“You’re mine. You swore yourself to me. Now and after the war. I’m going to take care of you. I’m not going to let anyone hurt you. You don’t have to be lonely. Because you’re mine.”
She reached out, her fingers brushing back his hair. “Don’t worry. I’m always going to come back to you.”
By making privileges always at the expense of others, the prisoners forget who has made those rules.
before she was through the door, Kaine had her in his arms and was kissing her as if starved.
“Call me, and I will come.”
“I promise, Kaine. I’m always going to be yours.”
“You’re mine. I’ll always come for you.” He always did.
“I’m going to take care of you. I swear, Helena, I’m always going to take care of you.”
“Because I have warned you, if something happens to you, I will personally raze the entire Order of the Eternal Flame. That isn’t a threat, it’s a promise. Consider your survival as much a necessity to the Resistance as Holdfast’s. If you die, I will kill every single one of them. Given that the risk to their lives is the only way to make you value your own.”
do it all because of you. Every word. Every life. Because of you.”
“He’s a god. You’ll notice that making humans die for them is the gods’ primary mode of operation.
“Be careful,” she whispered. “Don’t die.”
The war was an abyss that took everything and was never satisfied. There was always more required. Another life. An additional measure of blood. Be better. Smarter. More ruthless. Quicker. More cunning. Accept a second portion of pain. It was never enough.
“Don’t die, Kaine. You can’t leave me behind.”
Someday, she promised herself, someday I am going to love him in a moment that isn’t stolen.
He scoffed. “If I survive, I’m not going anywhere without you.”
“Mine. You swore it. Your Resistance sold you to me. I’m not going anywhere without you. And if anyone touches you, immortal or not, I will kill them.”
You always lose. Everyone you love dies.
She would redirect her thoughts, transmute her memories until her mind stopped running to him. She couldn’t confess to something she didn’t remember.
“You didn’t save me,” he said when he was finally capable of speech. “You just put us in hell for two years.”
“I love you. You left, and I’d never told you.”
“Helena, I’m tired.”
“We’ll go out together, won’t we, old girl? Bennet’s last two monsters.”
“You came—” She reached for him. “I guess you always do.”
“Helena—Helena, breathe. Look at me. I’m going to be careful. I’m not going to let anything take me from you.”
“We have to stop hurting ourselves for each other,” she finally said. “Both of us. We’re not going to last if this is the only way we know how to love.”
“I don’t think that an ordinary life will ever feel real for either of us.”
“Every day. I’ll choose you. That way you’ll know it’s still what I want.”
Too much has happened to ever really put it behind us, but if you choose me, and I choose you, I think we’re strong enough to make it.”
Kaine talked to Enid more than he talked to anyone, even Helena.
The corner of his mouth curved into a smile that had only ever been for her. “Anything. Whatever you want.”
