Alchemised

by SenLinYu

“You made me feel like the parts of me that aren’t useful still deserve to exist. Like I’m not just all the things I can do.”

People are going to know the Lancasters.”

“I don’t think that most can,” Kaine said, straightening. “It’s something only animancers are capable of.”

“You know, I just realised, if I succeed, you’ll control Ferron the same way you use Luc to control me. It makes me feel rather sorry for him.”

who had approved it. A moratorium was placed on Helena’s lab work, and the next thing she knew, it was not her lab at all but Shiseo’s, and Ilva had Helena passed off as the lab assistant, tasked with running errands and fetching supplies from the wetlands for him.

The stories made it sound so good. Fighting for a cause. Being a hero.” He shook his head. “Why does everyone pretend it’s anything like that?”

“I’m sworn to protect this country and represent the values of the Eternal Flame which my forefathers established. Neither of those vows will be fulfilled if I let people die for me when I can save them.”

Women were always defined by the lowliest thing they could be called.

You’re torturing him to death on a lie.” “That’s why I am making him miracles,”

A year ago, we were hemmed in around Headquarters, no supplies, barely enough rations to keep fighting, and now we’ve retaken the entire East Island. The ports. All because we had faith.”

“When this is all over, I don’t want you to think of us as friends anymore. I think it will be better that way for both of

Even whores were not so low as to find pleasure in their work the way she nearly had.

I had to want someone they’d consider disposable,

“I can’t—I can’t do this again—” he finally gasped out. “I can’t care for someone again. I can’t take it.”

Your failure was always the plan.

“I’ve spent a year working on the logistics of replacing you…I must admit, you are the most exceptional asset the Eternal Flame possesses. And I am sorry for that.”

Helena’s jaw tensed. Why was it always the hospital’s fault when things went wrong?

“I’m sure there’s something poetic in it all, but right now all I feel is a new set of manacles.”

That you chose me because you want necromancy as your backup plan?

Helena stared in horror. Kaine’s father was still alive?

The axe head was buried all the way through his ribs to his spine. Blackthorne jerked the axe free and licked it as Soren dropped, vanishing into the water.

The person dragging him wasn’t one of the Resistance. It was one of the Undying. Immediately identifiable by the helmet and black uniform.

He was as deadly as she’d imagined.

“Remind Crowther that if the Eternal Flame wants my continued assistance, they will keep you alive.”

My loyalty was to those least responsible for her suffering, but if the Eternal Flame has decided that you are an affordable casualty, I will not be noble or understanding. I can exact dual revenge. I will make them pay if they get you killed.”

“I want to love someone without feeling like if they know, it’ll end up hurting them. People who love me always die. No matter what I do, it’s never enough to save them. I have to love everyone from a distance, and I’m so lonely.”

“This—is the way I wanted it to be,” she admitted. “With you. I wanted it to be like this with you.” He went very still.

I think you still believe that, deep down. You were just—you were just scared and you—made a mistake, but you can repent. If you talk to the Falcon, he makes it all so clear.

If the ring activates only once, it’s not Resistance-related. Signal back when you’re there, and I’ll come for you.”

“Call me, and I will come.”

“I promise, Kaine. I’m always going to be yours.”

“The difference is that I’m not a traitor to my kind.”

Consider your survival as much a necessity to the Resistance as Holdfast’s. If you die, I will kill every single one of them.

Everyone leapt to the conclusion that the properties of the obsidian came from pyromancy; that the obsidian must be infused with holy, cleansing fire.

Someday, she promised herself, someday I am going to love him in a moment that isn’t stolen.

“You know, I was in one of the field hospitals during the massacre. When the liches infiltrated using living bodies. Apparently, a living body won’t accept another soul; it’s like an infection, the body tries to burn it out. That’s why they came in sick with brain fevers, screaming and clawing at themselves, saying, ‘Get him out,’ until they died.”

“I am Morrough.”

“You’ve always done the worst things because of me.”

“This whole war was just two brothers fighting over who gets to play god?” Kaine gave a disbelieving, bitter laugh. “You think you’re picking a side, and you’re just on the opposite end of the same fucking coin.”

You can’t save everyone. You never could.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

She would redirect her thoughts, transmute her memories until her mind stopped running to him. She couldn’t confess to something she didn’t remember.

Her hand. Her left hand was burning. The ring. Her heart stalled.

“Lila Bayard was the first one he brought back.”

“She was the one who let everyone into the Institute.”

“I hate it when you kill people because of me,” she said.

You were nobody. No training, no combat experience. I’m expected to believe an unranked healer was single-handedly responsible for one of the most devastating attacks we sustained?”

“I never—I never told you—I’m sorry I couldn’t save any of you.”

“It’s nothing. I’m just not used to feeling—human anymore,” he said.

“We have to stop hurting ourselves for each other,” she finally said. “Both of us. We’re not going to last if this is the only way we know how to love.”