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She was a nobody. No one’s coming for her, but you’re still hovering about like you’re hoarding her.”
She didn’t let herself pause or think, just pressed a hand over her heart. “I swear it, on the spirits of the five gods and my own soul, Kaine Ferron, I’m yours as long as I live.”
As he was regaining consciousness, she took his nearest hand, careful not to shift his shoulder as she started massaging the palm and worked slowly to his fingertips, knuckle by knuckle, her resonance seeking out every bit of tension and knotted muscles. Her father used to massage her hands like that, even before Paladia. Every night. An alchemist’s hands were like a surgeon’s, he’d said, they had to be taken care of. She knew Ferron didn’t need it. It was only meaningful to her, but it was all she could do.
She tilted her head to the side. If she saw him, without the context of who he was, she might find him rather handsome.
“You’re like a rose in a graveyard,” he said, and his lips twisted into a bitter smile. “I wonder what you could have turned into without the war.”
They were the inverse and counter to each other. A healer and killer, circling slowly, the push and pull inexorable.
“When I was a kid,” he said, his words rough, “I used to think it wasn’t fair that all the real wars were over before I was born. Used to be afraid I’d be one of the Principates everyone forgot, because nothing happened.” He looked down; he was ripping at his nails, all his fingers bleeding. “I’d do anything to have that now. I can’t taste anything now except blood and smoke, and I don’t feel anything except when I’m on fire. The stories made it sound so good. Fighting for a cause. Being a hero.” He shook his head. “Why does everyone pretend it’s anything like that?” Helena reached out,
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Women were always defined by the lowliest thing they could be called.
“You are not replaceable,” he said, his hands trembling against her shoulders. “You are not required to make your death convenient. You are allowed to be important to people. The reason I’m here—the reason I’m doing any of this—is to keep you alive. To keep you safe. That was the deal.” He searched her face. “They didn’t tell you.” She shook her head, giving a broken sob and—before she let herself think—she kissed him.
When he kissed her, it felt like the beginning of something that could be eternal.
She reached out, her fingers brushing back his hair. “Don’t worry. I’m always going to come back to you.”
She missed Kaine. Whenever she thought of him, she felt as though a piece of her was missing.
Someday, she promised herself, someday I am going to love him in a moment that isn’t stolen.
“Every time you asked, I promised I was yours. Always. There aren’t any exemptions or expiration dates on always.”
“I’m sure there will be good days and bad days for us. Too much has happened to ever really put it behind us, but if you choose me, and I choose you, I think we’re strong enough to make it.”

