Are You Mad at Me?: How to Stop Focusing on What Others Think and Start Living for You

by Meg Josephson

BILATERAL STIMULATION. This is a fancy phrase for stimulating both the left and the right side of your brain, which helps to calm the nervous system. We can do this in many ways, but the most accessible is through tapping. Place your hands on your knees when sitting, or cross your arms on your chest so you have a hand on each shoulder, and alternate gently tapping. Left, right, left, right. VISUALIZE A TIME YOU FELT SAFE. As we now know, the body doesn’t know the difference between an imagined experience and a real experience when we’re picturing a worst-case scenario. But the same is true for soothing thoughts. Recall a time when you felt safe: Where were you? What did it feel like? Were you with anyone? If it’s hard to do this, can you imagine a place where, or a time when, you would feel safe and comforted? LEGS UP THE WALL. This is a yoga pose (viparita karani in Sanskrit) known to reverse the body’s energy flow and calm the nervous system. Lie down on the floor, scoot your butt as close to the wall as you can, and swing your legs up along the wall as you lie comfortably on your back. Once your legs are along the wall, see if you can scoot your butt even closer to the wall. MOVE IT THROUGH YOU. Emotions carry energy that wants to move through us. Especially for fiery, jittery emotions like anger or anxiety, moving the body in a way that feels good, such as going for a brisk walk, allows any stagnant emotion to be broken up. SHAKE IT OFF. Animals instinctively shake aft...