Are You Mad at Me?: How to Stop Focusing on What Others Think and Start Living for You

by Meg Josephson

I was no longer anticipating my dad’s mood swings, but I was now anticipating getting fired anytime my boss messaged me.

Oh

So many people, especially women, struggle constantly with the notion that people are mad at them. We fearfully say, “Are you mad at me?”

This is especially true for people who grew up in dysfunctional, high-tension, high-conflict, or emotionally neglectful home environments where Are they mad at me?

This isn’t a quick fix, because we’re not some piece of machinery that needs to be repaired,

fawn response is about becoming more appealing to the threat, being liked by the threat, satisfying the threat, being helpful and agreeable to the threat—so that you can feel safe.

Fawning has been a tool for survival, an unconscious way to feel in control in a society that strips power from us.