Ellen Hudson  Howard

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Whether we’re coping with more anxious (e.g., seeking reassurance, ruminating, clinging) or more avoidant (e.g., self-sufficiency, hyperindependence) behavior, the underlying goal is the same: to prevent abandonment and rejection and to maximize feelings of safety and security in relationships.
Are You Mad at Me?: How to Stop Focusing on What Others Think and Start Living for You
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