Pick Me!: The Need to Be Chosen or Liked There is one theme underneath almost all the signs of fawning: the need to be chosen, the need for external validation, the need to be rescued or picked. This is in fact a counterpoint to self-abandonment. If there is less of me, I need more of you. So we tolerate abuse and mistreatment and anxiously squash our feelings about it. We become the person others need us to be, do what they need us to do, because we don’t want to jeopardize what is ultimately more important: the protection only a seal of approval can provide.
