One For The Team (Happy Holidays Shorts)

by Aria Daze

I pretend to be ok, but deep down I want a group of oiled up black and brown men to run a train on me.

Well then lmaoooo

Every single one of those posts made me want to queue up Say It Like That by Sza on the speakers.

A bangerrrrrrr

I was on the way to work but I still did what every black girl does after a breakup. I called my cousin and talked shit about dude. A tradition was a tradition.

Lmaoooo no fr, it’s a MUST

He was a bitch in my eyes.

Period lmao

HALLELUJAH! How often is God good? You better answer all the time! I prayed for that niggas downfall everyday and I almost broke into a full praise dance hearing that it had finally happened. Won't he do it!

I am cracking tf up lmaooo

Friends? No. I didn't want to suck a fart out of my friend's asshole.

Ayeoooo lmao

I was David Ruffin, and these niggas were The Temptations.

Please lmao not big David

If only they knew what I was thinking. ALL ABOARD!

Not the train chile lmao

Nigga I hate you. You didn't hate this dick the other day now did you? Since you think you know everything. You got your fucking degree. That shit was MID Keep talking. Bottoms come a dime a dozen. I'll find a new one. You don't mean that. 﫤

LMAOOOO

You know when you read romance novels and the FMC always plays cute and humble and refuses to spend any of the MMC’s money? Yeah, I hated that shit. They were offering and I was partaking. My budget didn’t speak humble. The only thing I wanted out of the mud was potatoes.

TALK THAT SHITTTTTT

“But nobody mentioned you having to choose.”

Heheheheheeeeee

Wait, why the fuck was I hesitating?

My thoughts exactly chile lol

Being fat never bothered me, but I knew there was a strong possibility I’d spend my days only being able to be lifted up in prayer.

Felt that lol

I didn't have any ass but that was ok because I also didn't have a gag reflex.

I know that shit is rightttttttttttt

It kinda reminded me of the toadstool monster on the OG Mario games and I immediately wanted to kiss it.

I’m screaming lmao

“I wanna ride Emery while Thaxton fucks me from the back and Blessing fucks my throat.”

A WOMAN WHO KNOWS WHAT SHE WANTS PURRRRR!!

“Ain't nobody tripping off you, Otis,”

Lmao

It’s 2024, I see poly people all the time on them find-a-fuck apps,”

Find-a-fuck is crazy lmao

“Didn't you just cross swords with Thaxton in my coochie? I know you ain't talking,” Chrissy giggled.

Exactly lmao

So maybe I was a little gay.

Period lmao

“Open your eyes and look at me while you fuck me,” she demanded while lacing her fingers around my neck.

Oooop lmao

The world could probably heal if we all just fucked a little more.

Say thattttttttt lol

Chrissy had literally fucked the shit out of me. I was appalled.

Did thatttttt lmao

A post speculating about how the Minnesota Hare's beloved mascot was actually the team pass around.

Awe hellllllll

They acted like I was Jeffrey fucking Dahmer instead of a horny woman who seized the day. Fucking was normal activity! It’s not my fault that most people couldn’t get more than one other person to join in.

This is taking me out lol

“Not gay,” he smiled. “Just bisexual like your boyfriends.” “Ope. He kinda ate you up there,” Milly admitted, sucking her teeth. And did.

Lmao and didddddddd

“Also, Mills,” I started, distracting her from lecturing Tristan. “I need to borrow a wig.”

Awe hell lol

“And please be sure to send the owner, whose ass you suck, my regards, shit stain!”

Please lmao

“Everything is complicated. The economy is chaos, the world’s on fire, the government is a shitshow. Just let us love on you.”

Ain’t that the truth lol

“Do you remember when you said you wanted us to get greasy like old-school Pizza Hut and fuck the shit out of you?”

Bruh lol

and I’d happily take one for the team any day of the week.

As you should lol